Premiership Power Rankings

Because I'm a reporter for a paper, writing long faux-columns or short entries for this blog takes too much effort. When I get home from the day the last thing I want to do is look at a computer and write, let alone think.

So I vow to post weekly power rankings that recap the previous weekend's actions in the EPL (shut up Barclays). Some division names will change, some will stay the same. Here's what I mean:

The Bundy's got nothing on us
20. Tottenham

You can't get relegated in October, can you?
19. Newcastle
18. Fulham

If only it was May
17. Stoke City
16. Bolton

Sacrificial Lamb of the week
15. West Brom

Everyone forgets we actually suck
14. Boro

Hoping to avoid the off-season exodus
13. Everton

Malt Liquor: not good, but does the job
12. Wigan
11. Blackburn
10. Sunderland

West-Hamming it up
9. West Ham
8. Portsmouth

Waiting for January
7. Man City

Overachieving 101
6. Hull City

Hoping Arsenal slips up
5. Aston Villa

Knows Aston Villa will slip up
4. Arsenal

Title Contenders
3. Liverpool
2. Man United
1. Chelsea