Premiership Power Rankings

Because I'm a reporter for a paper, writing long faux-columns or short entries for this blog takes too much effort. When I get home from the day the last thing I want to do is look at a computer and write, let alone think.

So I vow to post weekly power rankings that recap the previous weekend's actions in the EPL (shut up Barclays). Some division names will change, some will stay the same. Here's what I mean:

The Bundy's got nothing on us
20. Tottenham

You can't get relegated in October, can you?
19. Newcastle
18. Fulham

If only it was May
17. Stoke City
16. Bolton

Sacrificial Lamb of the week
15. West Brom

Everyone forgets we actually suck
14. Boro

Hoping to avoid the off-season exodus
13. Everton

Malt Liquor: not good, but does the job
12. Wigan
11. Blackburn
10. Sunderland

West-Hamming it up
9. West Ham
8. Portsmouth

Waiting for January
7. Man City

Overachieving 101
6. Hull City

Hoping Arsenal slips up
5. Aston Villa

Knows Aston Villa will slip up
4. Arsenal

Title Contenders
3. Liverpool
2. Man United
1. Chelsea

Raising the Dead

How long its been? Two months? Five Weeks? My apologies. 

Well, I'm back. 

And where to begin other than the UEFA Cup, seeing how today was the last round of all these pre-group-stage rounds.

I won't break down the results as there's like 50 of them. But here's an interesting breakdown of how many nations' club qualified from the group stage, compared to how many competed (warning: my math is off on the group stages – do help!)

1st Round

5 clubs: Germany, Holland, England, Portugal, Romania

4 clubs: Spain, Italy

3 clubs: France, Russia, Czech Rep., Turkey, Denmark, Serbia, Switzerland

2 clubs: Belgium, Norway, Croatia, Poland, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Austria       

1 club: Greece, Ukraine, Slovakia, Sweden, Israel, Ireland, Lithuania, Finland, Scotland

Group Stages:                                                                                                                  

5 clubs: Germany, Holland 

4 clubs: Spain, England, Italy

3 clubs: France

2 clubs: Portugal, Russia, Belgium              

1 club: Greece, Czech Rep., Ukraine, Poland, Serbia, Denmark, Turkey, Croatia, Norway

So who are the biggest losers? Well, Romania for one. Five clubs from the nation entered into the first round, and zero are in the group stages. Switzerland went 0 for 3, and Portugal 2 for 5.

The biggest winners are obviously Germany, Italy, Spain, and England that put in almost all their nations. And kudos to nations like Ukraine, Greece, and Slovakia that went one for one. But I gotta clap my hands to Holland, a nation whose domestic league has been on the decline internationally, whose UEFA Coefficient is below both Romania and Portugal, yet had all their 5 clubs advance. If only PSV could catch that magic in the Champions League…

Be sure to check out footy-highlights.com for all the UEFA Cup action.