sitting on the terraces

Premiership Power Rankings

2008-10-18T19:52:00.007-04:00

Because I'm a reporter for a paper, writing long faux-columns or short entries for this blog takes too much effort. When I get home from the day the last thing I want to do is look at a computer and write, let alone think.

So I vow to post weekly power rankings that recap the previous weekend's actions in the EPL (shut up Barclays). Some division names will change, some will stay the same. Here's what I mean:

The Bundy's got nothing on us
20. Tottenham

You can't get relegated in October, can you?
19. Newcastle
18. Fulham

If only it was May
17. Stoke City
16. Bolton

Sacrificial Lamb of the week
15. West Brom

Everyone forgets we actually suck
14. Boro

Hoping to avoid the off-season exodus
13. Everton

Malt Liquor: not good, but does the job
12. Wigan
11. Blackburn
10. Sunderland

West-Hamming it up
9. West Ham
8. Portsmouth

Waiting for January
7. Man City

Overachieving 101
6. Hull City

Hoping Arsenal slips up
5. Aston Villa

Knows Aston Villa will slip up
4. Arsenal

Title Contenders
3. Liverpool
2. Man United
1. Chelsea

Raising the Dead

2008-10-02T21:14:00.004-04:00

How long its been? Two months? Five Weeks? My apologies.

Well, I'm back.

And where to begin other than the UEFA Cup, seeing how today was the last round of all these pre-group-stage rounds.

I won't break down the results as there's like 50 of them. But here's an interesting breakdown of how many nations' club qualified from the group stage, compared to how many competed (warning: my math is off on the group stages – do help!)

1st Round

5 clubs: Germany, Holland, England, Portugal, Romania

4 clubs: Spain, Italy

3 clubs: France, Russia, Czech Rep., Turkey, Denmark, Serbia, Switzerland

2 clubs: Belgium, Norway, Croatia, Poland, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Austria

1 club: Greece, Ukraine, Slovakia, Sweden, Israel, Ireland, Lithuania, Finland, Scotland

Group Stages:

5 clubs: Germany, Holland

4 clubs: Spain, England, Italy

3 clubs: France

2 clubs: Portugal, Russia, Belgium

1 club: Greece, Czech Rep., Ukraine, Poland, Serbia, Denmark, Turkey, Croatia, Norway

So who are the biggest losers? Well, Romania for one. Five clubs from the nation entered into the first round, and zero are in the group stages. Switzerland went 0 for 3, and Portugal 2 for 5.

The biggest winners are obviously Germany, Italy, Spain, and England that put in almost all their nations. And kudos to nations like Ukraine, Greece, and Slovakia that went one for one. But I gotta clap my hands to Holland, a nation whose domestic league has been on the decline internationally, whose UEFA Coefficient is below both Romania and Portugal, yet had all their 5 clubs advance. If only PSV could catch that magic in the Champions League…

Be sure to check out footy-highlights.com for all the UEFA Cup action.

Its the Second Qualifying Round already!

2008-07-30T20:17:00.002-04:00

And what a round it was.

Four of the clubs that advanced from the First Qualifying Round won, and three drew. The biggest victor without a doubt was Artmedia Petržalka/Bratislava defeating Finland's Tampere United 3-1 on the road. And although at home, Anorthosis Famagusta still cruised to a 3-0 victory over Rapid Wein. The largest margin of victory though goes to Denmark's Aalborg BK who crushed Bosnia's FK Modriča Maxima 5-0. Rangers fan shouldn't start panicking, but a scoreless draw with Lithuania's Kaunas at the Ibrox is a bit unsettling. Venstpils and Drogheda United almost walked away with moral victories, whereas Inter Baku barely escaped an imminent exit. And BATE of Belarus definitely deserves mention as pulling off one of the biggest upsets, defeating Anderlecht 2-1 in Belgium -- it'll be difficult for Gooch's squad to come back from that one.

Below are the full results:

Rangers 0-0 Kaunas
Brann 0-0 Ventspils
Inter Baku 1-1 Partizan Belgrade
Tampere United 1-3 Artmedia Petržalka
Anorthosis 3-0 Rapid Wien
Domžale 0-3 Dinamo Zagreb
Panathinaikos 3-0 Dinamo Tbilisi
Göteborg 1-1 Basel
Sheriff Tiraspol 0-1 Sparta Prague
Drogheda United 1-2 Dynamo Kyiv
Anderlecht 1-2 BATE/Valur
Beitar Jerusalem 2-1 Wisła Kraków
Fenerbahçe 2-0 MTK Hungária
Aalborg BK 5-0 Modriča

Champions League First Qualifying Round Second Leg

2008-07-23T16:37:00.006-04:00

That title is a mouthful, huh?

Anyways, the second leg of the Cupcake Round (oops!) was completed today when nine of the fourteen participating clubs did battle. Lithuania's Kaunas and Sweden's Göteborg won big, Inter Baku advanced on away goals, and Aktobe and Llanelli couldn't advance despite winning the first leg. Below are the overall results (but home teams listed second):

FC BATE (Belarus) 2-0 Valur (Iceland)
still in progress...BATE leading 1-0...will update.
Drogheda United (Ireland) 1-0 Levadia Tallinn (Estonia)
Drogheda advances 3-1
Aktobe (Kazakhstan) 0-4 Sheriff Tiraspol (Moldova)
Sheriff Tiraspol advances 4-1
Dinamo Tirana (Albania) 1-2 Modriča (Bosnia/Herzegovina)
Modriča advances 4-1
F91 Dudelange (Luxembourg) 0-2 Domžale (Slovenia)
Domžale advances 3-0
Tampere United (Finland) 1-1 Budućnost (Montenegro)
Tampere United advances 3-2
Inter Baku (Azerbaijan) 1-1 Rabotnički (Macedonia)
Inter Baku advances on away goals
Anorthosis Famagusta (Cyprus) 2-0 Yerevan (Armenia)
Anorthosis advances 3-0
Llanelli (Wales) 0-4 Ventspils (Latvia)
Ventspils advances 4-1
Murata (San Marino) 0-4 IFK Göteborg (Sweden)
Göteborg advances 9-0
Santa Coloma (Andorra) 1-4 Kaunas (Lithuania)
Kaunas advances 7-2
Dinamo Tbilisi (Georgia) 0-1 NSÍ Runavík (Faeroe Islands)
Tbilisi advances 3-1
Valletta (Malta) 0-1 Artmedia Petržalka (Slovakia)
Artmedia advances 3-0
Linfield (Northern Ireland) 1-1 Dinamo Zagreb (Croatia)
Zagreb advances 3-1

So the first leg of the Second Qualifying Round is practically all set to begin next week, July 29th and 30th, and here are the pairings:

Rangers (Scotland) vs. Kaunas
Brann (Norway) vs. Ventspils
Inter Baku vs. Partizan (Serbia)
Tampere United vs. Artmedia Petržalka
Anorthosis vs. Rapid Wien (Austria)
Domžale vs. Dinamo Zagreb
Panathinaikos (Greece) vs. Dinamo Tbilisi
Göteborg vs. Basel (Switzerland)
Sheriff Tiraspol vs. Sparta Prague (Czech)
Drogheda United vs. Dynamo Kyiv (Ukraine)
Anderlecht (Belgium) vs. BATE/Valur
Beitar Jerusalem (Israel) vs. Wisła Kraków (Poland)
Fenerbahçe (Turkey) vs. MTK Hungária (Hungary, duh)
Aalborg BK (Denmark) vs. Modriča

With the exception of Tampere and Artmedia (who play another), each advancing club will have some difficulty moving onto the Third, and final, Qualifying Round. Even Kaunas and Gothenburg, who shelled their opposition, have tough opponents in Rangers and Basel respectively. It'll be interesting to see who, if any, survive.

UEFA Cup First Qualifying Round

2008-07-17T19:32:00.003-04:00

Oh, yeah, the UEFA Cup also began their qualifying procedures today. Now, this is way more complicated than the Champions League qualifying where victors of cupcake nations get to battle it out (before third and fourth place teams from big nations also get to play, inexplicably). Instead third place teams and domestic cup winners of cupcake nations get to battle it out. Sheeeeesh.

Lets just take a step back for a second and recap the competition. All in all 122 clubs will participate throughout the competition. Here's the breakdown:

Associations 1-6 each have 3 teams qualify
Associations 7-8 each have 4 teams qualify
Associations 9-15 each have 2 teams qualify
Associations 16-21 each have 3 teams qualify
Associations 22-37 and 39-50 have 2 teams qualify
Associations 38 (Lichtenstein), 51 (Andorra), 52 (San Marino) have 1 team qualify
Association 53 (Montenegro) have 2 teams qualify

AND

3 UEFA Fair Play entries
11 Winners of the UEFA Intertoto Cup 2008
16 Losers from the UEFA Champions League Third Qualifying Round
8 third-placed teams from the UEFA Champions League Group Stage

Too much numbers for ya? Well, its gets worse. The First Qualifying Round, has 74 teams in all. 33 Cup-winners from associations 21-53, 32 runners-up from associations 19-37, 39-50 and 53, 6 third-place finishers from associations 16-21, and 3 entries through UEFA Fair Play (which should have been Fulham) all take part.

I'm not going to recap the results of the first leg because there were 37 of them. So just go here. There weren't any surprises in the results, other than Red Bull Salzburg scoring 7 on Banants Yerevan of Armenia, and HSC Berlin winning 8-1 against Nistru Otaci of Moldova. Gotta love mismatches! And Vaduz, who won the Lichtenstein football Cup (thus qualifying them for the competition as Liechtensteiner clubs play in Switzerland) lost to Bosnia's Zrinjski Mostar. C'mon Residenzlers!

The second leg reconvenes in two weeks, where they'll join 27 other clubs in the Second Qualifying Round. My head hurts.

UEFA Champions League Qualifying

2008-07-17T16:55:00.006-04:00

Believe it or not, but the UEFA Champions League begun Tuesday, and continued Wednesday. Okay, so its the first round of qualifying, but still -- the long road to Rome is underway. As far as I know, no club has ever progressed from the First Qualifying Round to the Group Stages. So this may all be a moot point, but whatever.

The 28 Champions of associations 25-53 take part in the first round. A nation's association is determined by their UEFA league co-efficient. In this round, Sweden has the highest ranked league, whereas San Marino has the lowest (I was unaware San Marino had a league -- but they do have a funny entry in the Onion's Our Dumb World). Lichtenstein do not qualify for the Champions League, as they don't have a league. Per usual, each qualifying round is two-legged. So, without much ado, below are the results for the First Qualifying Round. And as always, home team listed first:

FC BATE (Belarus) 2-0 Valur (Iceland)
Drogheda United (Ireland) 2-1 Levadia Tallinn (Estonia)
Aktobe (Kazakhstan) 1-0 Sheriff Tiraspol (Moldova)
Dinamo Tirana (Albania) 0-2 Modriča (Bosnia/Herzegovina)
F91 Dudelange (Luxembourg) 0-1 Domžale (Slovenia)
Tampere United (Finland) 2-1 Budućnost (Montenegro)
Inter Baku (Azerbaijan) 0-0 Rabotnički (Macedonia)
Anorthosis Famagusta (Cyprus) 1-0 Pyunik Yerevan (Armenia)
Llanelli (Wales) 1-0 Ventspils (Latvia)
Murata (San Marino) 0-5 IFK Göteborg (Sweden)
Santa Coloma (Andorra) 1-4 Kaunas (Lithuania)
Dinamo Tbilisi (Georgia) 3-0 NSÍ Runavík (Faeroe Islands)
Valletta (Malta) 0-2 Artmedia Petržalka (Slovakia)
Linfield (Northern Ireland) 0-2 Dinamo Zagreb (Croatia)

The second leg continues next week, July 22nd and 23rd.

On to the Round of Four

2008-07-09T18:20:00.003-04:00

In what probably the most exciting round yet, two USL-1 sides upset their big MLS brothers, and Crystal Palace Baltimore came within a fraction of defeating the defending champions. The best part about the entire round though was the free live radio and streaming video from the Revolution, MLS and USL. Thanks guys -- Europe could learn a lot from that.

Gearing up for their inaugural SuperLiga appearance this weekend, the Revolution put out their JV squad against cinderella's Crystal Palace Baltimore/USA. Yet it almost went pear-shaped, as the USL-2 side took New England to the very brink, losing 5-3 on penalties. Charleston told FC Dallas that the third time ain't ever the charm, as they cruised to a 3-1 upset in Frisco. It took the Seattle Sounders seven attempts in the penalty shootout to dispatch the Wizards 6-5. I watched most of this match via streaming USL video, and was quite impressed with the Sounders play. Their stadium was empty, as predicted, but they should do quite fine next year in the MLS.

In typical DC United and Chicago Fire fashion, there were more bookings than goals. Yet this battle royale – which included 9 bookings – went into extra time, where a Bryan Namoff goal in the 99th put Barra Barra's boys ahead 2-1 for good. The biggest intrigue of the match was (another) brawl between Blanco, who just entered, and Marc Burch. The Washington Post has the best examination of the fracas:

In addition to his on-field conduct, which according to D.C. United defender Marc Burch included both punching and eye-gouging D.C. midfielder Clyde Simms, Blanco also allegedly head-butted a D.C. United operations employee as he was being escorted off the field, according to sources.

Here is D.C. United’s comment on the situation: “As a result of incidents last night, Major League Soccer has requested video footage, which we are preparing and will be sending to the league,” United spokesman Doug Hicks said. Hicks said MLS will have the video today.

I too am attempting to find that video, and video highlights of all the other matches. I did however find some photos which are here and here, and some vids here. So if you have any of either, do pass them along. Below are the results, home team listed first:

New England Revolution 1-1(5-3PK) Crystal Palace USA/Baltimore
DC United 2-1(AET) Chicago Fire
FC Dallas 1-3 Charleston Battery
Seattle Sounders 0-0 (6-5pk) Kansas City Wizards

The Cup goes on hiatus until August 12, four days before the Premiership starts. Here's the semifinal pairings, which, thankfully, allow a USL-1 side to make the final and, hopefully, win it:

New England at DC United
Seattle Sounders at Charleston Battery

US Open Cup Quaterfinal Preview part deux

2008-07-08T11:03:00.003-04:00

Remember that (crappy) preview I wrote yesterday? Well, the cup's website did the same and its quite better than mine.

Enjoy

US Open Cup Quaterfinal Preview

2008-07-07T14:48:00.005-04:00

Believe it or not, but its already the quarterfinals.

Four MLS teams are still in it, two USL-1, and one USL-2. Hopefully the Cinderella's will continue to dance, but its going to be a tough round of tango ahead.

Crystal Palace Baltimore at New England Revolution
Can the Eagles keep the momentum? The biggest underdogs of the tournament face the toughest opponent, last year's cup victors. For some reason this is occurring in New Britain, CT -- a place I've been and don't necessarily want to go back to. Nonetheless expect Stevie Nichol's side to be well equipped and mentally ready for the task at hand.

Chicago Fire at DC UnitedThe Fire are one of the few clubs that take this competition seriously -- which is a good thing. Yet DC United seem to have Chicago's number. I'm just glad this match pits two MLS sides against another, which means only one can advance. The less, the better!

Charleston Battery at FC Dallas
The Battery have to manage the Texas two-step, for the third straight year, if they want to advance to the semifinals. FC Dallas turned things around against Miami FC, and should be the favorites. Yet the Battery are, thankfully, the only club with an adequate match preview.

Kansas City Wizards at Seattle Sounders
Seattle fans may have had a miserable week with the stealing of the Sonics, but at least they have a future-MLS team to look forward to. Sebastien Le Toux, paid like an MLS star, has played like one too with five goals already. Kansas City were gifted advancement thanks to Carolina's collapse, so a presumably half-empty Qwest field should see their defeat.

A little break from footy...

2008-07-04T15:32:00.004-04:00

But with the recent dealings in Seattle I just had to voice my growing discontent on professional sports in this country. In fact, I plan on publishing a book soon Why I've begun to hate American Sports.

And this whole debacle will be a chapter titled "Franchising is the death of everything: How public tax dollars are wasted on private sports ventures, which in turn screw the public."

There are countless other examples throughout the current and historic American sportscape. And will continue to be because they're not teams belonging to communities or cities, but "franchises". And the organizations that run the leagues are somehow continually getting away with taxing the public for private business. It would be one thing if a museum, library, or other civic institution was constructed -- but professional sports only exist to pad the pockets of the billionaire owners.

Now, this shouldn't be new to anyone with a brain. And I'm sure you're all aware of what has been transpiring in the Emerald City: how Howard Schultz was an inept owner, sold it to some OK City carpetbaggers who demanded a king's ransom to renovate a 13-year-old stadium, and Seattle (in typical city politic fashion) took the money to line their pockets. And the tyrannic David Stern, obviously not caring about public image after it was all but proven that his league is as palatable as boxing, welcomed the move.

I know MK Dons attempted this route, but it went through much negative hubbub. And, although some doom-sayers otherwise, it will probably never happen again. But, as far as I know, this type of greed would never be allowed to occur in English and European soccer. Yes, there was the Wembley racket and Cardiff's Millenium Stadium was financed partially from public funds. But those are national stadiums, used for a variety of events.

Imagine if Niall Quinn decided "screw it, Sunderland sucks. I'm moving elsewhere"; or if the new American owners of Derby County attempted to relocate to a larger locale because the public wouldn't fund a new stadium. Would anyone in England tolerate this? Would the BPL chairman Sir Dave Richards sit glumly by? Even I would probably riot in the fans' favor. Yet in America this happens all the time. And the league's allow it to, because it would terrible PR for them to be rebuffed by the people who actually pay for the event (consumers rejecting a product -- what a novel thought!).

I feel sorry for Seattle, but I also feel sorry for every team in every league. A precedence and formula has been established to make more money: purchase a team, alienate its fan-base, demand public funds to renovate stadiums that don't really need it in the first place, buy off the city government through graft, and then eventually move to your future destination. There are a few teams that would never move without some serious bloodshed (e.g. Red Sox, Yankees, Red Wings, Packers, any Philly team, Giants, Jets, Celtics, Knicks -- see a trend?), but every 'mid-table' club is hereby vulnerable.

And with the closed leagues, rewarding draft picks for under-performing, and salary caps, the trend will only continue to get worse.

Which is why any Rochdale, Bury, or even Liverpool fan can rest assure that their club will never relocate. Because their sports system does rely on money, yes, but mostly on results. The same cannot be said of here, where, allegedly, its about competition and the best being allowed to succeed.

US Open Cup Third Round recap

2008-07-02T10:55:00.007-04:00

Finally, some giant killings!

The biggest of 'em all though was my adopted club Crystal Palace USA, the USL-2 minnows, defeating the corporate giants Red Bull New York/New York Red Bulls/the New York Red Bulls 2-0 with just 10 men. Charleston and Seattle were the other underdogs to prevail, defeating Houston and Chivas USA respectively. But, with all do respect, is defeating reserve and fringe squads really an upset? I say not really, but thats up to you.

When most bigger clubs participate in their opening rounds, several stars are rested. NYRB left out Jon Conway, Dane Richards, Seth Stammler, Oscar Echeverry, and Dave van den Bergh; while Juan Pablo Angel and Claudio Reyna were out with injuries. Their absence greatly affected the side, as Crystal Palace's Ibrahm Kante was given a straight red in just the 34th minute, yet it availed to nothing. Yet Palace, who were without striker Kevin King and coach Pete Medd, didn't seem to mind all the absences and cruised to the victory thanks to goals by Andrew Marshall and Gary Brooks.

With Pat Onstad and Craig Waibel on the bench, and no Dwayne De Rosario, Brian Ching, or Ricardo Clarke, it was déjà vu for the Houston Dynamo. For the second year in a row they bow out to the Charleston Battery in extra-time. Or after extra time, as this year's match went to penalties. Whats empathic about the Dynamo's loss is that two Battery players were sent off. In fact, 10 players were booked between both sides. Although Houston tied up the match at 1-1 in the 89th, Charleston hung on until penalties whereupon they squeaked by 4-3.

Chivas USA have a brief history in the MLS, which has a brief history in of itself, but they're already on the fast track to being the biggest bottlers of the league (if only New England would win a damn title). Again with the déjà vu stuff, Chivas exits the competition early by the hands of the Seattle Sounders. Yet unlike NY and Houston, Chivas fielded a halfway decent side as USMNT future hopefuls Brad Guzan and Sacha Kljestan featured. Yet Taylor Graham and Sebastian Le Toux's goals were enough to see Seattle through.

Other highlights of the third round were Kansas City's comeback victory against Carolina, and FC Dallas' last second victory against Miami. Already down 2-0 in the 57th minute, KC kept plugging away at the lead -- or Carolina choking it away. Wizard Claudio Lopez's goal from the penalty spot in the 81st minute sent the match to extra time, wherein Ivan Trujillo scored his second of the match, and Ryan Pore added another goal from the spot to advance KC 4-2. And FC Dallas were en route to embarrassment as visiting Miami jumped out to a 1-0 lead in just the 7th minute thanks to Alex Alfonso. Yet Abe Thompson's goals in both stoppage times, including a fanciful header in the 92nd, was enough to redeem the home side, and save off any upset.

Below are the results, home team listed first (who went 7 for 8):

Seattle Sounders 2-0 Chivas USA
DC United 2-0 Rochester Rhinos
Carolina RailHawks 2-4(AET) Kansas City Wizards
Charleston Battery 1-1(4-3) Houston Dynamo
FC Dallas 2-1 Miami FC
Crystal Palace USA 2-0 New York Red Bulls
New England 3-0 Richmond
Chicago Fire 4-1 Cleveland City Stars

Euro 2008 -- no I didn't forget about it

2008-06-30T18:16:00.005-04:00

In fact, I think I watched practically every match.

But I didn't devote any time to this event because, well, everyone else already was. And they probably had more insightful things to say. I do want to congratulate Spain though, on a romp well done. No other team stood a chance against them; yet I don't think anyone who picked them stuck with them 100%, or even chose them in the first place (I know I didn't). Is it possible to be described as a "least-surprising surprise"? Because if so, they're it.

What I took away most from this years competition (my first as a footy fan), and Norman Hubbard wrote a great piece about this over at soccernet, was the passing of the old guard. Generation X has given way to Generation-Y, the MTV Generation, or whatever the hell my age group is called. France, Italy, and Sweden all fielded geriatric squads, and all had extremely disappointing performances. Spain, Russia, and Turkey were either led by youth or had a youthful endeavor and jubilance about them that saw to their place in the final four. It may be callous to say it, but bring on the youngin's!

Also, and somewhat connected, attacking football reigned supreme and I'm more than happy about it. Greece's anti-football that won them the trophy in 2004 thankfully failed them this time round. Had France not totally crapped the bed, Greece's poor performance -- who scored just one goal, in the last game against Spain -- would have ranked them last in the competition. And everyone can agree on it. Italy attempted to do the same against Spain, and, also thankfully, lost. Clubs with the pedigree of Italy should not be playing for penalties, ever. Although it was boring to watch, it made sense when Greece did it because, well, Greece sucks and its the only way they and similar nations/clubs/etc stand a chance -- unless they're coached by Gus Hiddink.

Lastly, this two-host nation stuff has got to go. Now, I understand what its trying to accomplish, and I agree with its logic. Giving nations that normally wouldn't qualify a chance to compete, brings unaccustomed revenues, which then gets pumped back into the national team and system's infrastructure. But Switzerland and Austria, particularly the latter, had little business playing on the same pitch. Granted, Switzerland losing its talismanic captain Alexander Frei after just the first half of the first match is tragic and not their fault. But the only game the team won was against Portugal's JV team. And the same goes for Austria, who managed just a single point -- in a draw with Poland that was arguably more boring than the France-Romania snooze fest and Italy-Spain debacle.

Poland and Ukraine, if they ever get their stuff together in time, better put forth a better display in 2012. Otherwise I'm in favor of giving the previous year's victor the opportunity to host it. It makes sense because the nations that usually win it already have the stadium infrastructure in place, and four years notice is plenty of time. It will open up a spot to a team that normally qualifies 17th, rather than taking places away from the 15th and 16th qualified teams. Does anyone think Scotland or Bulgaria deserved their spot in the tourney over this year's hosts? I do. (And no, even if my system was to be applied retroactively England would still be home this summer. I don't think I need to explain myself on that one).

And there are other countless topic to discuss as well: how the hell Germany progressed as far as they did; poor little Croatia; Italy's despicable display against Spain; Holland flaming-out (again); Romania's disappointments; and why the penalty shoot-out is the #1 reason why soccer will never become big in America.

But I'm sure other, better sources have written about such topics.

US Open Cup Third Round

2008-06-26T13:53:00.003-04:00

I did withhold this information until after the Second Round, mainly because I wanted to keep the (illusionary) element of surprise. So, without much ado, here's the Third Round ties that are slated for Tuesday, July 1.

Oh, and remember when I complained that MLS teams weren't playing at their home parks, which probably adds to the neglect the competition witnesses? Well, half the MLS sides are playing their 'home' match at a different stadium than their own. New England are playing in New Britain, CT, and DC is in Gaithersburg, MD; I don't know if they're trying to spread the wealth or what...but it's quite mickey mouse.

New England Revolution vs. Richmond Kickers
Crystal Palace USA vs. New York Red Bulls
Chicago Fire vs. Cleveland City Stars
D.C. United vs. Rochester Rhinos
FC Dallas vs. Miami FC
Charleston Battery vs. Houston Dynamo
Carolina RailHawks vs. Kansas City Wizards
Seattle Sounders vs. Chivas USA

I hope to be in attendance of the NYRB-CPUSA match. Yet according to the Palace website it looks the match ALSO won't be at their home stadium, but a high school outside Annapolis. And tickets are an exorbitant $16. So we'll see if I can make it....

US Open Cup Second Round

2008-06-25T11:27:00.003-04:00

If I was a conspiracy theorist, I would be quite skeptical of this year's Second Round.

One match was decided by a penalty shootout, two by last minute penalties, and one in extra time. And each victor, excluding the shootout, was a USL-1 side over their USL-2 little brothers. Oh, and lets not forget eight players and one coach were sent off. Yikes.

Below are the results, and a some brief highlights (home team in CAPS):

Richmond Kickers 2-1 WESTERN MASS PIONEERS
USL-2 foes played a scoreless first half that would give way two goals in just under the first twenty minutes of the second. Kicker Kevin Jones scored in the 59th minute, which was quickly answered by Pioneer Jeff Deren in the 63rd. Richmond's Stanley Nyazamba put the Kickers ahead for good in the 84th, but the real drama was the unraveling of sportsmanship immediately thereafter -- or the Referee going nuts. In just the 90th minute alone, Western Mass' Matt Glaeser and Frederico Molinari were booked for the second time, and Anthony Augustine given a straight red. Conversely, Kicker Evan Harding was booked, and Pat Viran was also shown a red card.

Crystal Palace USA 2-2(3-1pk) HARRISBURG CITY ISLANDERS
Another all-USL-2 tie, the highlight of this match was Palace coach Pete Medd being given a red card -- presumably for arguing. Harrisburg was given a penalty in the 120th mintue, and Yu Hoshide scored for the home side. Yet Crystal Palace would go on to trounce in penalties, winning 3-1.

ROCHESTER RAGING RHINOS 3-0 Pittsburgh Riverhounds
The USL-2 Riverhounds were no match for USL-1 Rochester. Menyongar, Salles, and Kreamalmeyer scored for Rochester.

MIAMI FC 1-0 Atlanta Silverbacks
Alex Alfonso's goal in the 40th was the only highlight of this tepid, rainy USL-1 affair. Although congrats to Miami for making it past the Second Round for the first time ever.

Cleveland City Stars 2-0 MINNESOTA THUNDER
The only upset in the Second Round, the USL-2 side Cleveland handily defeated Minnesota in Minnesota. Floyd Franks scored twice for the City Stars in extra time, who now face another Midwest foe, MLS' Chicago Fire.

SEATTLE SOUNDERS 6-0 Hollywood United F.C.
Cinderella's carriage definitely became a pumpkin last night when four goals from Sébastien Le Toux (two in the first half), saw Hollywood United's cup dreams end emphatically. Just five minutes into the match Zach Scott scored for Seattle. Josh Gardiner added another ten minutes later, and then Le Toux went on his scoring run, as at halftime it was 4-0 and curtains.

CAROLINA RAILHAWKS 1-0 Real Maryland Monarchs
A close knit affair saw Real Maryland succumb to the higher level RailHawks via a 90th minute penalty kick. An identical situation occurred just 287 miles south when...

CHARLESTON BATTERY 2-1 Charlotte Eagles
Another 90th minute pk saw a the lower tier club lose out to the home, upper tier side. Hmm...am I seeing a pattern here or what?

Nonetheless, only one USL-2 team upset a USL-1 side. Only three away teams won, and just three matches were won by two or more goals.

The Third Round is next week on July 1, as the MLS now get involved. Luckily Crystal Palace USA won, so I'll (hopefully) be in attendance as they take on NYRB.

Second Round Preview

2008-06-20T10:40:00.005-04:00

One gripe, on a long list of many, about the US Open Cup is that the second round was announced weeks ago, and the third round is already announced. Honestly, is US Soccer so busy with the MNT in Barbados (yeah, right), the USWNT in the Peace Cup (what?), and the WNT U-20's also in World Cup Qualifying (sheesh), that they couldn't stage a lottery or drawing immediately after last week's action?

Knowing one's opponents weeks in advance takes all the drama, allure, and mystery from Cup competitions. Would the FA Cup this past year have been less impressive if Barnsley knew they had to play Chelsea after Liverpool? Yes, because being paired with the Blues immediately after dispatching the Reds was a cruel fate. But the Tykes overcame it in historic fashion.

And what made their run even more special, and dramatic considering they lost, was that they were then paired with fellow CCC side Cardiff City in the semifinal. Yet the Third Round of this competition pits every Second Round victor against an MLS team, which isn't surprising because the MLS always needs to prove its superiority and relevancy. How boring and disheartening is it for a USL-2 side that knows an upset over a USL-1 team is only going to be followed with a trip to say, DC United? Or that we all know its going to be an all MLS Quarter-, Semi- and Final?

Nonetheless, here's how the second round pairings pan out:

Harrisburg City Islanders vs. Crystal Palace Baltimore
Skyline Sports Complex, Harrisburg, PA - 7:05 PM

Western Mass Pioneers vs. Richmond Kickers
Lusitano Stadium, Ludlow, MA - 7:30 PM

Charleston Battery vs. Charlotte Eagles
Blackbaud Stadium, Charleston, SC - 7:30 PM

Carolina RailHawks vs. Real Maryland Monarchs
WakeMed Soccer Park, Cary, NC - 7:30 PM

Rochester Rhinos vs. Pittsburgh Riverhounds
PAETEC Park, Rochester, NY - 7:30 PM

Miami FC vs. Atlanta Silverbacks
Tropical Park, Miami, FL - 8:00 PM

Minnesota Thunder vs. Cleveland City Stars
National Sports Center, Blaine, MN - 8:05 PM

Seattle Sounders vs. Hollywood United
Starfire Sports Complex, Tukwila, WA - 11:00 PM

Keep an eye out for the Seattle/Hollywood match, as a Seattle victory would add fuel to the (sadly) ending rivalry between Portland and Seattle. Also, five of the eight pairings are between USL-1 and USL-2 teams, so perhaps there will be some upsets this round. And I really want to complain that Crystal Palace USA isn't going to have a home game this entire Cup -- looks like I may have to go to Harrisburg to cover them. Yuck.

How did I forget this?

2008-06-16T13:00:00.002-04:00

I don't normally like to toot my own horn, but how in the world did I forget to bring this up last month when the EPL season ended?

I'm usually incorrect with my predictions, but its great for the psyche when this turns out to be true:

But if Reading find themselves needing a victory at Derby on the season finale to survive, it’ll be déjà vu all over again. And I know I won’t be too surprised.

Well, we all know Reading needed more than a win. But I'll take this.

Rounding out the 1st Round

2008-06-16T10:50:00.004-04:00

My apologies for the delay, but I was away most of the weekend. Nonetheless, postponed because of torrid weather, Friday night featured a match between USL-2 Real Maryland and USASA New York Pancyprian-Freedoms. Had Freedom Panagoitis Halkidis not been booked twice in a minute and NY been forced to 10 men, they very well may have won. But, fortune did not smile upon them as Real Maryland scored two late goals to win 3-2 AET.

Julio Cesar DoSantos began the scoring on the day, exploiting Maryland's defender Marcos Chantal mistake and putting NY up 1-0 in the 22nd. The tepid first half would remain in favor of NY, as the amateurs' hoped they too could be apart of a big upset.

Maryland responded however, when Muner Hasssan headed home a Dennis Alas free kick to tie the score at 1-1 in the 56th. NY responded in a timely fashion, when Matia Damiani was left all alone at the back post, and he slotted in a rebound from a free kick in the 69th.

The pendulum of providence suddenly swung against NY when Panagoitis Halkidis was booked in the 82nd and 83rd minute, reducing the squad to 10 men. Just two minutes later, Maryland's Nilson Perez scored from a Alas pass to tie the game. Although NY held on to send the match into extra time, and then almost to penalties, Marcos Chantal redeemed himself in the 117th minute by heading in a rebounded free kick that NY keeper Dilmer Martinez blocked but did not save.

And so the mighty tike's fell 3-2 after being so close to victory. Maryland's Alas, already involved with the two previous goals, had a role to play in the third and is undoubtedly the player of the match. Congrats to the Salvadorian.

US Open Cup First Round

2008-06-11T12:14:00.008-04:00

The first round surely wasn’t for the Cinderellas, as all but one lower tier club went out – and that includes all PDL clubs too. Additionally, eight of the fifteen matches were won by two goals or more.

There was a diamond in the rough though, as Hollywood United’s upset USL-1 side Portland Timbers 2-1 in Portland. And although not an upset, the PDL’s Austin Aztex U23 took USL-1 Atlanta Silverbacks all the way to penalties in a barnburner.

There is some video, and the Cup’s website had some great liveblogging, but wikipedia is still the best source. Nonetheless here are the highlights of the two aforementioned matches:

Portland’s PGE Park saw drama only cup competitions could provide. The scoring in the constantly swerving match began in the 32nd minute, when Timber Chris Brown slotted in a goal from a breakthrough. When Tim Karalexis committed a foul in the box, former Timber Matt Taylor nailed it just before halftime, equalizing the affair at one-all.

Just seven minutes into the second half, Arsene Oka received a cross from Neil Dombrowski and put the Timbers up 2-1. United Defender LJ Reinhaldt committed a foul in the box just moments later, yet Takayuki Suzuki’s effort was saved by United keeper Javier Bbarragan. Adding insult to injury, Oka’s follow up rebound was hit wide right. Ouch.

What little momentum remained in the Timbers camp evaporated when Matt Taylor was, again, called upon to score from the penalty spot. Which he did, again.

Then, at the death of the already remarkable match, former Derby County youth player Earl Alexander scored for Hollywood United. 3-2 to the boys from SoCal, and onto the second round they go.

Meanwhile, at Dragon Park in Round Rock, TX (where Dell is located) Atlanta and Austin Aztex U23 played that match that saw four goals scored, eight bookings, one red card, and a perfect 5-for-5 penalty shootout.

The scoring didn’t begin until stoppage time of the first half when Real Salt Lake draft bust Jamie Watson scored for Austin. Being given a PK, Atlanta’s David Hayes missed his opportunity. Yet fortunately, Mac Kandji equalized in the 81st minute thereby sending the game to extra time.

And from there it got crazy. In the 99th, Atlanta’s Chris Mahaffery was issued a straight red for “stepping on the keeper.” In the 101st Austin’s Willy Guadarrama scored to put the Aztex' up 2-1. In the 105th Austin’s Jorge Vega was booked. In the 113th David Hayes then sliced through Austin’s defense to be one-on-one with the goalie. Yet Hayes was taken down by keeper Miguel Gallardo (who was subsequently booked) and given another penalty – which he scored. Finishing the booking fiesta was Carlos Vicens, who was given a yellow in the 116th.

Atlanta then went five for five the penalty shootout. Beto Papendrea was the goat for the Aztex’, as his miss was the difference in the match.

Below are the results of the first round. The Real Maryland/New York game was postponed to Friday evening because it was thunder-storming like crazy here.

Carolina RailHawks (USL-1) 1-0 Brooklyn Knights (PDL)
Richmond Kickers (USL-2) 3-0 Fredericksburg Gunners (PDL)
Western Mass Pioneers (USL-2) 2-0 Boston Olympiakos (USASA)
AAC Eagles (USASA) 0-4 Pittsburgh Riverhounds (USL-2)
Michigan Bucks (PDL) 1-2 Cleveland City Stars (USL-1)
Minnesota Thunder (USL-1) 4-1 St. Louis Lions (USL-1)
Rochester Rhinos (USL-1) 2-1 RWB Adria (USASA)
Austin Aztex U23 (PDL) 2-2 (4-5) Atlanta Silverbacks (USL-1)
Charleston Battery (USL-1) 3-0 ASC New Stars (USASA)
Charlotte Eagles (USL-2) 5-2 Clearwater Galactics (USASA)
Miami FC (USL-1) 4-2 Brandenton Academics (PDL)
Arizona Sahuaros (USASA) 0-1 Seattle Sounders (USL-1)
Harrisburg City Islanders (USL-2) 5-1 Yakima Reds (PDL)
Los Angeles Legends (PDL) 1-2 Crystal Palace USA (USL-2)
Portland Timbers (USL-1) 1-2 Hollywood United (USASA)

Oh yeah, there was also an MLS game too. Chicago Fire beat the Crew 3-2. So congrats to the Fire.

Better Know a Soccer Club

2008-06-09T00:05:00.013-04:00

Stephen Colbert has his "Better Know a District" gimmick. Well, I'm starting my "Better Know a Soccer Club" in the run-up to the First Round of the Open Cup. Unfortunately I don't have a contract like he does nor the ability to use the segments as filler. Instead the cup is a timely event that begins tomorrow. So here's a quick glance at the USASA and NPSL, i.e. the lowest tiers, clubs participating.

RWB Adria
Hometown: Chicago, IL
A Region II club of the USASA, Red White and Blue Adria has strong Croatian affiliations as they regularly plays in the Croatian-North American Soccer Tournament. They've also arguably won the most trophies in the state of Illinois.

New York Pancyprian Freedoms
Hometown: Queens, New York City
The Region I Freedoms have, or attempted to, qualify for every US Open Cup since its inception. They're also the last repeat victors, accomplishing the feat in 1982 and '83.

Clearwater International F.C. Galactics
Hometown: Clearwater, FL
Region III and Florida Suncoast Soccer League (FSSL) champions, Clearwater is a non-profit club with loads of teams. Yet their real interesting facets lie in their website. Seriously: underlines, highlights, and bold markings? Yikes.

ASC New Stars

Hometown: Houston, TX
Aria Soccer Club was founded in 1974 by Iranians Reza and Taher Khalili. The New Stars is their top team, comprised of players under the age of twenty-five. They're the Houston and Texas State Champions, and with the exception of a 4-4 draw with Greenwood Wanderers in qualification, they won their group handily.

AAC Eagles
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Another ChiTown club affiliated with an Eastern European nation, the Eagles have roots in Poland. Although they have an impressive track record, its hard to get any information or history from their website.

Boston Olympiakos
Hometown: Boston, MA
Founded as Boston United in 1990, the club changed the name to its current state in 1996. Although they've done quite well in the Open Division of the Massachusetts State Soccer League (winning 5 titles) and the Amateur Cup Finals (winning it last year), this is the first time they've ever been in the Open Cup.

Arizona Sahuaros
Hometown: Phoenix, AZ
The nomadic Sahuaros have a history of changing names and leagues, but find themselves participating in the NPSL's Southwest Conference for 2008. Additionally, the qualification for the US Open Cup occurred in the club's first four matches of the season. Yet the team has nine players from their last appearance in 2006, so its no surprise they're in it again. They're also the only NPSL club in the tournament.

Hollywood United
Hometown: Los Angeles, CA
Although I hate LA, Hollywood, and everything to do with SoCal, this club has a great history. Back in the 80s British ex-pats like Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols and Vivian Campbell of Def Leppard, among others, used to frequent this one pub and decided to form a team. The club has transformed from an actual pub team into an amalgamation of competitive players, and b-list movie stars and musicians -- Anthony LaPaglia is the club's chairman -- but hey, what else did you expect?

US Open Cup 3rd Round Play-In

2008-06-05T11:51:00.005-04:00

The first round doesn't start until next Tuesday, but last night the MLS had a play-in match for the third round. And go figure it was on a FIFA International Date.

Alas the Kansas City Wizards took on the Colorado Rapids at Shawnee Mission North High School, in Overland Park, KS. Yep, that's right, reason #5 why no one knows/cares about the US Open Cup: the games occur at high school fields. Yikes.

Anyways, the Wizards and Rapids engaged in a heave-ho match, with KC managing to win the ensuing penalty shootout 5-3. Of course, there aren't any video highlights or even photos of the match, but below is a quick rundown of the game's proceedings.

With both sides fielding practically full-strength sqauds, KC's Ryan Pore opened the scoring in the 20th minute. Yet just sixteen minutes later, Rapids' Herculez Gomez tied it up at 1 all. (On a side note, but Gomez doesn't get a call up for the USMNT is vexing -- he has to be better than Wolff and Clark).

Nine minutes into the second half, the Rapids would go up 2-1 thanks to striker's Jacob Peterson's header. Star Wizard striker Ivan Trujillo slotted home the equalizer in the 86th minute, but midfielder Davy Arnuad's second booking put the Wiz down to 10 men.

Although each side 'won' each half, the score was still tied at 2-2 after both periods of extra time. Both clubs would score the first three penalty's, but Rapids' Facundo Erpin hit the cross bar. Wizard Kurt Morsink stepped up, scored the penalty, and sent the Wizard's to the Third Round proper.

Stats from Cup's website:

Scoring Summary
20 (KC) Ryan Pore (Unassisted)
36 (COL) Herculez Gomez (Ciaran O’Brien)
57 (COL) Jacob Peterson (Mehdi Ballouchy)
86 (KC) Ivan Trujillo (Claudio Lopez)

PK Summary
KC - Jewsbury (Goal, 1-0)
COL - Gomez (Goal, 1-1)
KC - Lopez (Goal, 2-1)
COL - Ballouchy (Goal, 2-2)
KC - Trujillio (Goal, 3-2)
COL - Grazier (Goal, 3-3)
KC - Conrad (Goal, 4-3)
COL - Erpen (Miss - Crossbar, 4-3)
KC - Morsink (Goal, 5-3)

The next MLS match also coincides with the First Round (Tuesday, June 10 -- also the day Spain play Russia, and Sweden versus Greece), as the Chicago Fire host the Columbus Crew. That game will occur at Bradley University's Shea Stadium in Peoria, IL, which is -- albeit slightly -- a step up from a high school.

The US Open Cup exists, it's here, and I'm going to explain it to you.

2008-05-30T11:25:00.004-04:00

There are many mysteries in the world: who built Stonehenge? Where did Jimmy Hoffa go? How did Crash win an Oscar?

Another mystery of equal proportion is why no one cares, or even knows, about the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup.

It’s sad and quite telling when wikipedia is the best source of information about the competition. Therefore a finger can be pointed to the US Soccer Federation (USSF) and their inexplicable disregard of the event in favor of the US Men’s (and Women’s) National Team. Another can be attributed to MLS taking its own title way too seriously, to the point where any other competition is meaningless (e.g. CONCACAF Champions Cup, SuperLiga, this cup). Lastly, ESPN, FSC, and the other networks can be faulted for never providing any news about or highlights of it. Even the cup's website has the incorrect date in the press release (hint: look at the first line).

So subsequently there is little fan interest in the event. And this is a total shame because it’s the second oldest competition behind Lord Stanley’s Cup. Additionally, clubs of all levels can compete in it, a la the FA Cup. So pub teams can face MLS, USL-1, USL-2, and youth academy’s – competition at its finest. And although I, and others, have documented the waning of the FA Cup (add link) it is still unique and quite novel.

Well, I feel like the silence needs to be broken. With the first-round draw announced Wednesday, I will try my best to cover it. Luckily the local club Crystal Palace USA is competing in it, so I will try my best to attend a match (although I PRAY the tickets are cheaper -- $16 for a USL-2 game is inexcusable).

This year the qualifying is a little different (but not like anyone knew of its former format anyway), but still quite muddled. Eight MLS clubs enter (like the EPL in the FA Cup) in the third round, six automatically qualify based on their 2007 season standings. That means Chivas USA, DC United, FC Dallas, Houston Dynamo, New England, and the NYRB are in. Thus the remaining clubs have a seven team playoff. So far San Jose, the LA Galaxy, and Real Salt Lake have all been booted, and the next round is June 4.

The lower tiers however all vie for placing in the first round, which starts June 10.

All American USL-1 teams (8) automatically qualify, because FIFA and USSF rules prohibit Vancouver, Montreal, and Puerto Rico's participation as they are from Canada and, well, Puerto Rico.

Defending USL-2 regular season champions Richmond Kickers, and playoff champions Harrisburg City Islanders both automatically qualify. Thus, of the seven remaining America-based USL-2 squads, six qualify via regular season matches, so bottom dwellers Wilmington Hammerheads wont be participating. So in total, eight clubs are placed.

The same criteria goes for the USL Premier Development League (PDL), but each conference has its own qualification procedures: the Eastern and Central Conference(s) advance two teams, while the Mid-South, Southeast, Northwest, and Southwest Division(s) place just one. Again, the magic number is eight.

Lastly, the United States Adult Soccer Association (USASA) places – you guessed it! – eight clubs in the cup. Like the PDL, each region does its own version of qualification. Region I (the northeast) and Region II (Midwest) have playoffs. Region III (the south) and Region IV (the southwest and SoCal) have group stages. The autonomous National Premier Soccer League (a fourth-tier league) qualifies through the USASA.

Therefore, without much ado below is the first round draw, which starts June 10:

Carolina RailHawks (USL-1) vs. Brooklyn Knights (PDL)
Real Maryland Monarchs (USL–2) vs. New York Pancyprian-Freedoms (USASA) Richmond Kickers (USL-2) vs. Fredericksburg Gunners (PDL)
Western Mass Pioneers (USL-2) vs. Boston Olympiakos (USASA)
AAC Eagles (USASA) vs. Pittsburgh Riverhounds (USL-2)
Michigan Bucks (PDL) vs. Cleveland City Stars (USL-1)
Minnesota Thunder (USL-1) vs. St. Louis Lions (USL-1)
Rochester Rhinos (USL-1) vs. RWB Adria (USASA)
Austin Aztex U23 (PDL) vs. Atlanta Silverbacks (USL-1)
Charleston Battery (USL-1) vs. ASC New Stars (USASA)
Charlotte Eagles (USL-2) vs. Clearwater Galactics (USASA)
Miami FC (USL-1) vs. Brandenton Academics (PDL)
Arizona Sahuaros (USASA) vs. Seattle Sounders (USL-1)
Harrisburg City Islanders (USL-2) vs. Yakima Reds (PDL)
Los Angeles Legends (PDL) vs. Crystal Palace USA (USL-2)
Portland Timbers (USL-1) vs. Hollywood United (USASA)

New homes next season

2008-05-27T20:51:00.005-04:00

Leases usually begin June 1st. I have no idea why that is, but it's a common housing practice.

For English football clubs that were bottom of their respected table, they were evicted over two weeks ago when the season ended. For those who clinched automatic promotion or won their respected playoff final this past weekend, they moved to greener pastures. Here's a breakdown of all the movers and shakers:

Premier League

IN: West Bromwich Albion, Stoke City, Hull City

OUT: Reading, Birmingham City, Derby County

Of the three promoted teams, only West Brom have any prayer of surviving. Stoke and Hull's promotion are nice stories (Stoke not being in the top-flight in twenty-three years, Hull never in their 104-year history), but their arcane tactics and lack of class will spell doom: just look at Derby this season. The relegated teams, provided they can keep their respected core players, should bounce back up. If everyone chooses to jump ship, hire bad coaches, etc etc, then they'll be stuck in the quagmire like Charlton and Sheffield United.

Coca-Coca Championship

IN: Swansea City, Nottingham Forest, Doncaster Rovers

OUT: Leicester City, Scunthorpe United, Colchester United

Next season marks the return of once-great Nottingham Forest, as with 'the other' Welsh side Swansea City. Leeds, thankfully, won't be bouncing back up after a loss to Doncaster in the playoffs. The relegations of Colchester and Scunthorpe came as no surprise, but the collapse of millionaire madman Milan Mandaric's Leicester City raised many eyebrows. And if his hands-on approach (i.e. firing coaches every other week) continues, don't expect the Foxes to bounce back up.

League One

IN: MK Dons, Peterborough, Hereford United, Stockport County

OUT: Bournemouth, Gillingham, Port Vale, Luton

The club -- excuse me, franchise -- everyone loves to hate won both the League Two title and the Johnstone's Paint Trophy. Joining them in League One next season is Hereford who will be in the third tier for the first time in thirty years. And yes, they are named after the cows. Dropping down are numerous anonymous clubs with the exception of Luton, who may not be in existence next season due to countless "financial irregularities." Poor Hatters...

League Two

IN: Aldershot, Cambridge United

OUT: Mansfield, Wrexham

If anyone knows about any of these clubs, do add them in the comments section -- I got nothing.

As the World Turns...

2008-05-26T17:01:00.003-04:00

Back in November, on Thanksgiving, you may have watched Stockport County take on Staines Town in the First Round of the FA Cup. And from that match you may recall the non-league side upsetting the League Two side 4-3 on penalties. For a club that finished 4th the year prior, and was tipped for automatic promotion, a loss to Ali G's club was a total embarrassment -- one that could ruin a season.

Well, fast forward six months to today where Stockport County defeated Rochdale 3-2 in the League Two promotion playoffs. Now out of the basement of the Football League, Stockport will compete in League One next season.

And perhaps promotion to the Championship next season will be helped by on a cup loss to Kidderminster Harriers F.C.

Fulham Offside Podcast

2008-05-09T11:36:00.001-04:00

Download Fulham Offside - Offside Podcast 5/8/08

Coca-Cola Playoffs

2008-05-06T13:47:00.002-04:00

After an exciting final day of play, the Coca-Cola Championship's regular season gives way to the playoffs. And this year, unlike last, its a total crap-shoot. Here's what I see:

(home in bold)

Hull vs. Watford

Hull City is attempting to be in the top-flight for the first time in their history. Watford have backed into the playoffs, twiddling immensely down the stretch. Interestingly enough, had Wolves' defender Neil Collins not fouled Steve Kabba (and Marlon King subsequently scoring from the spot and winning the match) on opening day, then it probably would have been Wolves' in the playoffs, not Watford. I like Hull.

Bristol City vs. Crystal Palace

This season Bristol City managed to hoodwink opponents into defeat, ending the season with an inexplicable +1 GD. Crystal Palace --excuse me, Neil Warnock -- have gone from relegation fodder twice (in October and February) to gain 25 out of a potential 36 points. That type of momentum is unstoppable. Expect them to advance.

It may have faded fast, but its back in a hurry...

2008-04-28T20:16:00.003-04:00

If I was the CIA and my post on April 7th a torture tape, it would have been destroyed.

But instead, I must eat crow for stating that the Premier League was solved at both ends of the table. Now, both the title and relegation are wholly up for grabs. What happened in the past three weeks? Well, besides Birmingham unable to defend, a lot actually...

1) Ferguson playing not to lose
Its easy to point to the 4-5-1 he threw out at Barca and Chelsea, but it goes back to the Blackburn match where ManYoo were lucky to snatch a point. How Nani didn't start then is vexing. How Carrick continually starts over him (and Anderson) is even more so.

2) Chelsea playing in spite(?) of Avram Grant
I really don't understand how Chelsea is still performing this well. Usually teams with a lot of (individual) talent quit on thier uninspiring coaches whenever adversity is first encountered. The trophy should have been given to ManYoo when they let Wigan get a point at the death, AT HOME. Instead they rebounded with a 1-0 victory at Everton, and 2-1 win over United (and lets not forget Riise's gift at Anfield in the CL). With Toon Army and Bolton on the horizon, Wednesday's CL fixture -- same goes for United -- is monumental.

3) Bolton Winning
Equally as inexplicable is Bolton. For a team that couldn't score, and won only six times all season, the Trotters' run of 7-out-of-9 points in the past three matches have seen them barely breathing in safety. Davies, McCann, and Stelios have come up huge; considering Kevin Nolan is their leading scorer -- with 5 goals.

4) Fulham Winning -- Away
The Cottagers hadn't won away since September of 2006. Then they went to the Madjeski and shutout Reading 2-0. They also hadn't won back-to-back away fixtures since 2003. Then they come back from 2-0 down and relegation to upset ManCity 3-2 -- in the final 20 minutes.

5) Reading not Scoring
Some time ago I wrote how Reading could be this year's Wigan. Well, their inability to score (last tally was back on March 22nd) could/will see their final match away to Derby as being their last gasp in the league.

The sale of personal oxygen tanks are going to skyrocket in the concluding weeks.

I know I got one.

UEFA Cup Semi-Final Preview

2008-04-23T12:53:00.004-04:00

I should deeply apologize (again) for not covering the second leg of the quarterfinals, because dear me it was fantastic. Luca Toni playing like a Roman deity at the death is something us fans will be discussing for ages, and firmly established himself in the pantheon of footballing legends. And Zenit St. Petersburg continue their impressive run, raising the status of Russian Premier League football each step of the way.

Here's how they breakdown:

Bayern Munich vs. Zenit St. Petersburg
Its funny how some semi-finals often have a better bill than the finals: every Western Conference semi-final in the NBA this decade; the '04 ALCS between the Sox and Yankees, and the '07 ALCS of Sox vs. Indians (I'm a Red Sox fan, but still). Bayern's scoring arsenal feature UEFA Cup scoring leader Luca Toni (10), as with Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski (each with 5). Zenit on the other hand, have relied extensively on Pavel Pogrebnyak (8). Bayern have been shaky very often during this competition, and Zenit appear a team of destiny, dispatching both Marseille and Villareal in historical fashion. Its a crapshoot, but expect a spectacle.

Rangers vs. Fiorentina
I gotta admit, I really don't understand how Rangers are this far. Thats not to suggest that I dont like it, but they've had six different scorers. Granted, they did get to the party late but at this point scoring can't be a group activity. Fiorentina meanwhile have scored at least two aggregate goals, relying on Romanian star Adrian Mutu (who's netted 3). Fiorentina have had a pretty tough run of games in the knockout stage, having to beat both Everton and PSV, but if Rangers can keep the (odd) mojo, expect them in the final.

Rangers/Fiorentina will be live at 2:30pm on FSC, with Bayern/Zenit on tape-delay at 5. Looks like a long day at the pub for me!

UPDATE: Looks like it'll be a long day for Rangers tomorrow. And no Luca Toni for Bayern.

The Bottom, Top, and Bottom

2008-04-22T13:49:00.004-04:00

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this blog. I've been busy trying to wrap up my diploma, and I've been blogging over at The Offside. So please pardon the lapses.

But with all the hoopla of the Champions League semifinals commencing today. I want to call people's attention to the bottom of the Premier League and the Top of the Coca-Cola Championship, and how what used to be up is now down in both leagues.

With Bolton winning two straight, and Brum and Reading dropping points at the least favorable time, the relegation party now has three participants trying to get out alive. Separated by just one point, Reading needs to gain more points than the others as their goal-differential is the worst in the league (excluding Derby, who don't count).

At the top the CCC, things are finally beginning to sort themselves out. West Brom are on the pole position, two points ahead of second-place Stoke City. Behind Stoke are Hull (72pts), Bristol City (71, AND A NEGATIVE-1 GD!), Watford (69) and Crystal Palace (68). Ipswich (65) need a victory at Preston this weekend if they have any hopes to sneak into the playoffs.

The bottom of the CCC in a whole other matter with six clubs separated by just three (!) points.

But that deserves its own post. (Yes that means I will be updating again).

well, this used to be exciting...

2008-04-07T10:08:00.004-04:00

A month ago us fans faced the mouth-watering prospects of the title, championship league spots, and relegation dogfight going down to the wire. Now, essentially everything is decided. ManYoo are taking (another) title, Liverpool are in the CL, and Bolton, Fulham, and Derby are all going down.

On March 7th, the table looked like so:

1) Arsenal 65pts
2) ManYoo 64
3) Chelsea 58
4) Everton 50
5) Aston Villa 48
6) Liverpool 47
7) Blackburn 45
8) ManCity 45
9) Portsmouth 44
10) WestHam 40
11) Tottenham 32
12) Boro 29
13) Newcastle 28
14) Wigan 27
15) Sunderland 27
16) Birmingham 26
17) Bolton 25
18) Reading 25
19) Fulham 19
20) Derby County 10

Now, a month later, it looks like this. What's so different? Well, Arsenal collapsed and are 6 points from the title. Everton got stuck in neutral while Villa went in reverse, as Liverpool went on their run and are now a shoe-in for 4th spot.

At the bottom, Bolton have acquired just a point; whereas Sunderland have gotten 9, Reading and Wigan 7, and Newcastle 10. Fulham have achieved 5, but are still exactly where they were a month ago -- six points adrift.

Thank God the Championship won't be decided until the very end, because the BPL sure faded fast.

More Championship Parody

2008-03-25T15:59:00.004-04:00

[Sorry about the delay in posting -- I was away last week for my spring break.]

But with Hull City's 2-0 victory at Leicester City last Saturday, the Tigers are now in 3rd position, and just two points off an automatic promotion spot. In case you were unaware, Hull City have never been in the top flight.

Who currently rounds out the top 2 you may ask? Well, two other clubs haven't never been in the top flight in eons: Stoke City and Bristol City.

Below are the standings, from 1st to 10th:

1) Stoke 68pts
2)Bristol City 67

3)Hull City 65
4)Watford 65
5)West Brom 63
6)Plymouth 59

7)Ipswich 59
8)Crystal Palace 58
9)Wolves 58
10)Charlton 57

The biggest shock in the above table is Charlton. Favorites for automatic promotion back into the BPL, the Addicks hovered around the automatic and playoff spots all season. But the club hasn't won since March 1st, and only gained 5 out of 18 total points this month. With the season drawing to a close, this drop in form is troubling for a squad that shouldn't be in this position to begin with.

It would be easy to say the same for Watford, who have drawn seventh straight matches. Since selling Marlon King back on January 25th, the Hornets have won just three times -- and that was immediately after the transfer. But they are still in the thick of automatic promotion, just two points from the top 2.

At the bottom of the table, Colchester seem resigned for relegation back to League One. Eleven points from safety, and winless in nine the U's stint in the Championship is all but over.

Yet the big battle will be for the last relegation spot, where 5 clubs are separated by just two points. FA Cup-upset masters Barnsley, broke Southampton, Cookie's Coventry, Crazy Serbian Mandaric's Leicester, and venerable Sheffield Wednesday are all headed to the wire.

This weekend has some pivotal matches with Hull City hosting Watford, Wolves traveling to Charlton, Coventry home to Plymouth, and Stoke going to Hillsborough.

If only it was all on TV...

And on to the Quarterfinals...

2008-03-14T11:07:00.007-04:00

Wow, I really got a lot of my predictions wrong.

I thought Spurs would go through, but forgot they're and English club and thus can't win in penalties. I thought Marseilles would go through, but forgot that in the 4 previous matches where they needed at least a point to advance (CL included), they lost 3 of those (and are now 4-for-5). And Hamburg...so sorry to see you boys go. And its probably be the last time Van der Vaart plays for HSV in Europe.

Below are highlights via footytube:
(Home team in CAPS, aggregate in brackets)

WERDER BREMEN 1-0 Rangers [1-2]

SPORTING LISBON 1-0 Bolton [2-1]

EVERTON 2-0 Fiorentia [2-2p]

Tottenham 1-0 PSV EINDHOVEN[1-1p]

Anderlecht 2-1 BAYERN MUNICH [2-6]

HAMBURG 3-2 Bayer Leverkusen [3-3a]

ZENIT ST. PETERSBURG 2-0 Marseille [3a-3]

GETAFE 1-0 Benfica [3-1]

Lastly, the draw was today and is as follows:

Leverkusen vs. Zenit
Rangers vs. Sporting
Bayern vs. Getafe
Fiorentia vs. PSV Eindhoven.

The first leg is scheduled for April 3, the second April 10th. I'll post a preview when the first leg nears (but I'm going with Zenit as the darkhorse).

big day for relegation

2008-03-12T14:38:00.003-04:00

With Brum traveling to Pompey and Boro to Villa to play their games in hand, it's a big day for the relegation battle. Here's how the table currently looks:

12. Boro 29 -17
13. Wigan 28 -16
14. Reading 28 -21
15. Newcastle 28 -26
16. Keane-O 27 -21
17. Brum 26 -10
18 Bolton 25 -14
19. Fulham 20 -23

Pulling an upset would be huge for both clubs. For Boro, they would put 7 points between them and Bolton (who have a game in hand: next Tuesday at Old Trafford). For Birmingham, they would leap up to 13th and be able to breathe -- albeit slightly.

The relegation battle is going to be exciting probably even after the fat lady sings. Screw what Blatter thinks, games like today make the sport truly unique.

UEFA Cup Round of 16 Second Leg Preview

2008-03-11T22:36:00.003-04:00

The Round of 16 concludes this week with a majority of the teams playing on Wednesday and just four on Thursday. The only team with their tickets punched to the next round is Bayern Munich, who absolutely demolished Anderlecht, at Anderlecht, 5-0. Everyone other match is a total crapshoot. Here’s how I see things:

[home team listed first]

Wednesday’s Fixtures:
Zenit St. Petersburg vs. Marseille (1-3)
After upsetting Villarreal, I thought Russian-league champions Zenit were the darkhorse. But Marseille have already proved their mastery of any Ruskie club after they romped Spartak Moscow 5-0 on aggregate. Expect Olympique to advance.

Hamburg vs. Bayer Leverkusen (0-1)
Leverkusen took the first match of the Bundesliga rivals by only a goal, so this one could easily go either way. I really cant tell who will win this, so because I’m a Hamburg fan, I’ll stick with them.

PSV Eindhoven vs. Tottenham (1-0)
Jefferson Augustin Guadalupe Farfan (yes, that’s his actual name) scored for PSV in one of the biggest surprises of the first leg, but Tottenham seem to have recovered from their post-Carling Cup hangover after they thrashed West Ham 4-0 over the weekend. Spurs will go through.

Everton vs. Fiorentia (0-2)
The other shocker in the previous leg was Everton’s insipid display in Italy. The Toffees’ (i.e. Yakubu) need to rebound significantly at Goodison, otherwise they’re done in Europe this season.

Bayern Munich vs. Anderlecht (5-0)
If you’re knocked out of an Ultimate Frisbee tournament, you often play ‘consolation’ games. What can ensue – provided both teams have good spirit – are “fun” points where you run around and do silly things: like playing with two discs, only throwing upside down, or category points (to name a few). This match should do something that.

Getafe vs. Benfica (2-1)
I know nothing about either club, but Adu is on Benfica. So go Portuguese.

Thursday’s Fixtures:
Werder Bremen vs. Rangers (0-2)
Unfortunately for Rangers, scorer Daniel Cousin is out with a broken jaw. Which is karma because he should be on Fulham right now. But otherwise expect Rangers to dig in with a 5-4-1 (or something of the like), and play for a dull 0-0.

Sporting Lisbon vs. Bolton
Sporting got a vital away goal at the Reebok, which is good news for them. But Bolton just can’t seem to die, so they’ll probably advance. And I'm going to be angry.

UEFA Cup Round of 16 Recap

2008-03-07T09:41:00.005-05:00

The first leg of the Round of 16 was completed yesterday, and below are scores and highlights via Footytube and elsewhere.

Even with the exception of Bayern's demolition of Anderlecht, the away teams fared pretty well. PSV and Getafe won their matches, Sporting drew 1-1, and Zenit St. Petersburg managed to at least score.

The biggest surprises though were Getafe's aforementioned 2 goals at Benfica, Hamburg not scoring at Leverkusen, Tottenham still in their Carling Cup hangover, and Everton not getting off the bus at Fiorentina. I would also commend Marseille's victory over Zenit St. Petersburg (who upset Villarreal last round), but cannot considering they played in those peach-color kits again.

Oh yeah, and congrats to former Fulham man Steven Davis and once-potential transfer (thanks FIFA) Daniel Cousin on scoring last night. Its not like your respected former and future club need(ed) you or anything.

(Home Team in Caps)

Bayern Munich 5-0 ANDERLECHT

RANGERS 2-0 Werder Bremen

BOLTON 1-1 Sporting Lisbon

BAYER LEVERKUSEN 1-0 Hamburg

Getafe 2-1 BENFICA

MARSEILLE 3-1 Zenit St. Petersburg

FIORENTINA 2-0 Everton

PSV Eindhoven 1-0 TOTTENHAM

As the World Turns

2008-02-27T13:24:00.002-05:00

It’s been an odd season for veteran Paul Dickov. You may not be aware, but he’s currently on his third club of the season.

Unlike Fulham’s Collins John who went from club to club that are about the same echelon (Fulham, Leicester City, Watford); Dickov has gone from Manchester City (a large club) to Crystal Palace (a medium club), to Blackpool (a minnow).

And he’s played for each club, although an 88th minute substitute for City in a Carling Cup match in August is somewhat be suspect.

It’s also interesting to note that Dickov has done something with the Seasiders that he couldn’t do with the Citizens or Eagles: score.

His goal over the weekend against promotion-hopefuls Charlton was his fifth in just four starts since moving to Lancashire. This mark ties him with leading scorers Gary Taylor-Fletcher, Ben Burgess, and Wesley Hoolahan – all of whom have played significantly more than him.

In fact he’s played an integral role in Blackpool’s recent ascent to the mid-table, as they’ve acquired eight points in the five games he’s been on the team. And with the exception of a 2-1 loss at Ipswich, the Seasiders have acquired at least a point when he’s scored.

So the question remains: has the Scottish old hand found himself a home and make the loan permanent, or will he go to an even smaller club like Brentford and set a League Two scoring record?

I guess anything is possible at this rate.

HatterDon's Thinking Cap

2008-02-27T12:55:00.002-05:00

In the great movie, Twelve O’clock High, General Frank Savage (Gregory Peck) is the new commander of a dysfunctional bomber group stationed in England during World War II. More than just bombing the crap out of Germany, Savage’s group is under a magnifying glass as the key element in proving that high-altitude precision daylight bombing is the best way to rain a little terror out of the skies. The countervailing theory, espoused by Bomber Harris of the RAF, was that night-time low-level bombing was more effective. But that’s neither here nor there. My point in using this movie as the prologue to this editorial is one speech given in it by Peck.

Savage is concerned that his fliers are spending too much time thinking of themselves and not enough thinking of “the mission.” He tells them, “We're in a war, a shooting war. We've got to fight. And some of us have got to die. Now I'm not telling you not to be afraid. Fear is normal. I’m telling you to stop worrying about it...and yourselves. Stop making plans. Forget about going home. Consider yourselves already dead. Once you accept that idea it won't be so tough”

And, in a barely logically connected way, that’s where we all are right now. Those of us who love Fulham and follow the lads, and enjoy the idea of English Premier League football at Craven Cottage, have to recognize that, given the inability of our side to take one point at Middlesboro and the loss today of three points at home to West Ham, we’re done and dusted. We’re Texas Toast. We’re circling the bowl at warp speed. We’ve joined the football choir celestial. We are about to be an ex-parrot of a Premiership club. We need to consider ourselves already dead. Once we accept that idea, it won’t be so tough for us to be getting on with our lives and planning for next season.

Wanna read on? The rest is continued here
[From HatterDon, Fulham USA’s Senior Game Analyst and Writer]

Round of 32 - Second Leg Preview

2008-02-20T13:52:00.001-05:00

Although most eyes will be fixed on the Aberdeen-Bayern Munich match, there are still fifteen other matches to salivate over.

Okay, more like ten that should be actual contests. Here’s how I see them breaking down:

(Home team listed first)

Bayer Leverkusen vs. Galatasaray
Galatasaray won a moral victory in the first leg by drawing 0-0, but Leverkusen have yet to lose at home during this competition. And there’s no way the Conqueror of Europe (that’s Galatasaray’s actual nickname!) will change that.

Hamburg vs., Zürich
Scoring 3 away goals? Congrats Hamburg, your ticket is punched. And I’m rooting for ya.

Spartak Moscow vs. Marseille
See above. Except for the rooting part.

Panathinaikos vs. Rangers
Common wisdom says Rangers should win this, but expect Panathinaikos to advance. With the exception of a 2-1 loss at Atlético, the Green’s have been unstoppable. And how ironic would it be for the Rangers to lose to another green club.

Bayern Munich vs. Aberdeen
Bayern have the edge in this tie as they scored two goals while at the Don’s turf. Aberdeen needs to grind out a 1-0 victory, or they’re going home without an invitation to the next round. It’s that simple.

AEK Athens vs. Getafe
AEK barely qualified for this stage – and drew the last match at the death – whereas Getafe won their difficult group. Getafe will take their away-goal advantage and romp the Enosis (Union). (On a side note, do some research about AEK – their formation is truly incredible)

Sporting Lisbon vs. Basel
I’m not going to act like I know anything about either club, so lets move on…

Atlético Madrid vs. Bolton
I don’t understand Bolton, I really don’t. Gary Megson is a mediocre manager, but the club is still winning games in the UEFA Cup and grinding out points in the BPL. Atlético: please ROMP the Trotters’ so they’ll go into a tailspin and help Fulham out of the relegation zone. It’s all I ask.

Zenit St. Petersburg vs. Villarreal
Zenit was the only ‘cold weather’ club to win in the last round, but Villarreal have an amazing home European record. Expect the Yellow Submarine to advance.

Anderlecht vs. Bordeaux
City’s Emile Mpzena’s brother Mbo (what a name!) won this come-from-behind victory at the death for Gooch’s club. But Bordeaux left with one away-goal, so expect a boring 1-0 win by the French side.

Helsingborg vs. PSV Eindhoven
PSV won 2-0 at home so unless the Swedish side can muster up a rout, PSV advances.

Fiorentina vs. Rosenborg
A Serie A club at home? I’m sure the results are posted on the Internet somewhere…

Nuremberg vs. Benfica
Anytime a club wins 1-0 at home, the return leg is usually a doozy. Expect the same with this. (Although I really hope Adu appears for more than five minutes in this one).

Already Advanced: Everton, Tottenham, Werder Bremen

UEFA Cup recap

2008-02-15T12:58:00.002-05:00

Its back!

In case you weren’t paying attention, which I doubt you were, the UEFA Cup returned this past Thursday for the knockout stages. Personally, I LOVE this competition. Unlike the Champions League, it doesn’t have any pretension at being a "champion competition", – honestly, two clubs from Ukraine?!? – but accepts its role as a minor-league tournament.

That said the matchups are always unique and unpredictable. Unlike the CL where you know who’s going to win an Arsenal-Slavia Prague match, a Bolton-Bayern tie is (somehow) a total crapshoot. And how often does a Grecian club defeat an English one? (sorry Rovers fans)

Like most two-legged knockout competitions, the initial home team usually has some advantage. And after the first leg, that truism held up. The home teams went 8-4-4, but Aberdeen’s 2-2 draw with Bayern is essentially a loss. Its also worth noting how poorly the “cold-weather" teams (i.e. those in Scandinavia and Russia) did, as their seasons haven’t even started yet.

Below are the results with video via Footytube and elsewhere:

(Home team in Caps)

ZENIT ST. PETERSBURG 1 – 0 Villareal

GALATASARAY 0 – 0 Bayer Leverkusen

AEK ATHENS 1 – 1 Getafe

Everton 2 – 0 BRANN

WERDER BREMEN 3 – 0 Sporting Braga

MARSEILLE 3 – 0 Spartak Moscow

ANDERLECHT 2 – 1 Bordeaux

PSV EINDHOVEN 2 – 0 Helsingborg

RANGERS 0 – 0 Panathinaikos

SPORTING LISBON 2 – 0 Basel

ABERDEEN 2 – 2 Bayern Munich

Hamburg 3 – 1 ZÜRICH

Fiorentina 1 – 0 ROSENBORG

Tottenham 2 – 1 SLAVIA PRAGUE

BOLTON 1 – 0 Atlético Madrid

BENFICA 1 – 0 Nuremberg

The Great FIFA Swindle part 2

2008-02-13T13:19:00.004-05:00

After this continuing Daniel Cousin debacle, I may have to turn this into a FIFA and UEFA watchdog blog.

Well today the powers that be decided to delay, again. This akin to Beckham and the Galaxy waiting, and waiting, and waiting before allowing him to "recover" and actually play.

Over a week ago Gus Roux stated that Cousin had played more than 20 minutes for Lens. That other game was an Intertoto Match, which does violate FIFA rules. But I was unaware people even counted it, as its the pre-season and not taken very seriously.

Heck, even the Rangers gaffer wants this saga over with as he agreed to sell him on JANUARY 22nd, and were first contacted on the 21st. For those keeping count, that was 3.5 weeks ago. Now, it'll be just under a month.

This is truly getting ridiculous. I don't recall Mascherano or 'Pool ever having to go through such hoops.

No, Cousin isn't the answer to Fulham's problem. But this amounts to when White kids here in the states are caught with cocaine and just get probation, whereas minorities get the book thrown at them.

Simply pathetic.

Bristol Who?

2008-02-12T21:50:00.002-05:00

I’m not sure if anyone has in the (actual) press has written about them, but in case you were unaware Bristol City is currently in place for Automatic Promotion into the Premier League.

One point from the top and one from the playoffs, the Robins didn’t just arrive at this pinnacle– they’ve been yo-yoing in and out of 2nd and 3rd place since September.

Several months ago before my computer died I was going to write a column comparing the parity in the CCC to the NFL. Well, Bristol City is the case in point. Not to slight their fellow CCC clubs, but c'mon -- its Bristol City! Colchester performing well last year was one thing, but this this wholly something else. How West Brom can have a +26 GD and only be 4th blows my mind, more so than them losing to Derby in the Play-offs Final.

The Robins were promoted from League One last May, and didn’t lose a league match until October. In fact, had it not been for a horrid November where the team lost three straight matches with by a margin of 0-9, they would arguably be in the top spot of the Championship.

But City are still in the hunt, thanks in large part to their excellent home form – just two losses – and their ability to grind out away fixtures. Had it not been for the 6-0 thumping away to Ipswich in November, their GD would be much different.

Speaking of which, the Robins amazingly have 1 as their GD. Yes, a second place team with just one more goal scored than conceded. The only other side within ten spots below them is 12th-place Wolverhampton, who have –4.

So how did a team such as Bristol City get so high up in the standings? One-goal victories: which they have 12 of. Darren Byfield leads the team with 8 goals, followed by Marvin Elliott with 5, Bradley Orr with 4, and four other players with 3 goals a piece. In fact, fourteen players on the squad have at least a goal. I’m too lazy to do the math and compare that with another team, but that’s still a really good spread.

So after years of languishing in League One anonymity, Bristol City look prepared to make it to the top flight after just one season in throngs of the CCC. And with fans like these, the Premiership welcomes the minnows.

Even if they prove to be worse than Derby.

Funny Footy

2008-02-12T14:39:00.000-05:00

Here are some websites that cause me to laugh every time I visit. Some new, some old, its all funny.

Fantasy Rafa - Its harder than you think.

Brazilian Name - Can't say I'm impressed with my nickname. "Gellaldo" sounds more like that Italian ice cream than a rad Brazilian footy plater.

Ray Hudson - I'm sure everyone knows of this, but that man is a god amongst us mere mortals.

Sports Guy Column Generator - Fan of the Bill Simmons? Me too. But this little application made him a parody of himself, and changed the way he wrote.

If you know of any others, feel free to add.

Déjà Vu

2008-02-04T14:21:00.000-05:00

Is it me, or is Reading of this season eerily similar to Wigan of last?

Think about it: highly respectable English managers manage both. They’re small market teams that, if were in Major League Baseball, we would classify their economic dealings as “Moneyball.” Both made it to the top flight for the first time in their respected promotion seasons. And each performed remarkably well in their first season there with Wigan going to the Carling Cup Final, and Reading a point away from a UEFA Cup spot.

A little over a month ago Reading was not out of the relegation hunt, but in safety. Now, they’re 17th and a meager point above the drop. The Royals haven’t won since December 22nd, when they defeated Sunderland – who are woeful away – at the Madejski.

Since then they’ve only scored six goals in seven games, and added nine goals to their current –22 differential. They continue to be poor away from home, as the low point was conceding six goals to Tottenham (and lets not forget Pompey’s 7 goal fiesta back in September).

They still have to travel to Anfield, Emirates, and Goodison. Additionally they also play visitors to fellow relegation candidates Wigan, Middlesbrough, and Derby. Of the thirteen remaining games, only six are at home.

Compare this to Wigan, who went through two long winless spells last season: December 6th—February 3rd; March 3rd—May 15th. The (exciting) last day victory at Bramall Lane against Sheffield United was the only measure that ensured their survival.

Another similarity is the future of both managers. Paul Jewell resigned immediately after Wigan barely survived, which I believe played a huge part in the Latics’ spirited performance. Steve Coppell is rumored to be leaving Reading after this season.

Although the main difference between the two is Reading’s core remaining the same from last year, whereas Wigan was dismantled after their debut season.

But that should not take away from the fact that Reading is in trouble of being relegated. Because there is about seven – thanks to Fulham’s timely victory – clubs in the pack, it is a crapshoot to predict who will survive and who will go under. Reading has a good chance to go down, but also have a decent shot at staying up.

But if Reading find themselves needing a victory at Derby on the season finale to survive, it’ll be déjà vu all over again. And I know I won’t be too surprised.

The Great FIFA Swindle

2008-01-29T13:34:00.000-05:00

Karl Marx once wrote "The extent of the power of money is the extent of my power."

For Liverpool and other big clubs, that means they can get their way. Case in point: Javier Mascherano.

FIFA's rules mandate that no player can play for more than two different clubs between 1 July and 30 June the following year. Yet Mascherano had ALREADY played for Corinthians and West Ham.

FIFA, in their true racket fashion, allowed the deal to go through. He would eventually play in the Champions League Final.

This January Fulham attempted the same. They placed a bid for Rangers striker Daniel Cousin, and the two clubs agreed on it. Yet Cousin has already played for Lens and Rangers. Surely FIFA would let this slide too, right? I mean, it's only fair...

Yet FIFA, in their true racket fashion, said "No" to the smaller clubs. Now Fulham doesn't have a quality striker and Cousin probably doesn't even have a locker space at the Ibrox anymore.

Yes, Fulham probably shouldn't have gone through all the hassle and known the rules. But it doesn't matter -- FIFA CANT HAVE THINGS BOTH WAYS.

With (outrageous) instances like this and the Tevez saga...

...remind me again why I'm supposed to like this sport?

Two Eulogies

2008-01-28T19:25:00.000-05:00

In the span of twelve hours one character was suddenly lost forever, while another declared his future departure.

The two are wholly different. One is fictional, the other real. One is a Swedish footballer, the other is a Black man born and raised in East Baltimore. One took up a life of sport and prestige, the other a life of drugs and notoriety.

Proposition Joe was killed in last night’s episode of The Wire, set up by his Nephew and rival-turned-protégé Marlo Stanfield. He emerged in the first season as kingpin of the East side, an adversary of the Barksdale organization but not a rival. Operating the New Day Co-Op, Prop Joe was the liaison between The Greek and the Docks – where the drugs came in – and the rest of the drug barons in the city.

His constant scheming was his ultimate downfall. But it was also what distinguished Prop Joe from every other mogul. One can view his formation of the New Day Co-Op as a political move to solidify power for himself. But such an organization is too unique. Most people think drug dealers are vigilantes, but the Co-Op was a cabal that was similar to the political rackets in City Hall.

Prop Joe grew on me and although I foresaw his eventual power struggle, I did not expect it so soon. His co-op is now all but over. To use a (lame) StarWars allusion, Marlo is Emperor Palpatine and has dissolved the Imperial Senate.

Olof Mellberg first came on my radar when I was fleetingly into soccer. I saw the highlights of an Aston Villa match at a pub while in Copenhagen (although I cant fully recall). A cross between Dolph Lundgren and a lumberjack, his intense style, large stature, and burly beard immediately caught my attention. When Fulham played Aston Villa in August, Zat Knight was rumored to transfer to Villa. But that didn’t stop Mellberg, who at one point was in Zat’s face chewing him out.

Whenever I start a new manager campaign in FIFA, Mellberg is one of the first players I try to acquire. Silly, yes. But to date he is one of my favorite Premier League players. But sadly, he is choosing to play for (despicable) Juventus in Italy. I can't really blame him, as Turin is much more pleasant than Birmingham (or so I am told). Although he will be around until May, it will be a drawn out swan song.

Losing these two fellas has been tough, but there's still McNulty and Linvoy Primus out there.

HatterDon's Thinking Cap

2008-01-17T13:43:00.000-05:00

[By HatterDon, 'terrace contributor and FUSA maestro]
Time for a little perspective?

It’s Tuesday morning here in South Texas and we’ve finally got a little rain to wash out our winter terrorist – Mountain Cedar Fever. It’s typical, I suppose, that the spoors that give me the use of about 1/10th of a single nostril at the best of times don’t really come from a cedar tree at all, but that’s neither here nor there. The fact is that I’m breathing a bit now, and my brain is actually functioning. Time to concentrate on my depression now.

Goody.

I expect to spend some of this afternoon watching my first love on Fox Soccer Channel while trying to keep track of my greatest love through match tracker. Luton are on to a great Merseyside payday that might keep the old club alive for the rest of the season. Fulham are off to pirate country to play a bunch of boot boys in a bowl of chili. I don’t really care whether Luton win or not, because the fact that they are there is all that matters. As for the Whites, if they win tonight they have a tie with a non-league side, and that means a real chance of getting into the 5th round. A couple of away wins are on the cards if all goes well. What does this mean in terms of staying up? Will the momentum stand us in good stead for the rest of the campaign? Will it be the distraction that dooms us. Or, like Derby, are we already doomed and the Cup is all we have?

And that brings me to my peerless insight for the rest of the season. Here's what I'm seeing as I swirl round the drain with the rest of us.

1. Derby is a lock. When their new signings, their coach, and their assistant coach all agree that it's CCC for them next year, that's pretty much dead.

2. Wigan are staying up. It seemed impossible based on what they had, but the Birmingham City board's incredibly stupid decision to go with the "new owner" and pitch out Steve Bruce has been a windfall for the 'latics. They're not any more talented, but they're playing well, and they'll stay up. Fortunately, this means ...

3. That Birmingham City are underperforming. Ignore their point at Arsenal; they're on their way down.

4. Sunderland's high point of the season is over; they're one of the three for the drop.

5. Middlesboro are only a couple bad matches away from joining us at the bottom, and they're capable of sucking at a moment's notice.

6. Bolton's revival is over. Anelka has gone to Blue Hades, and Arc of a Diver Cisse is in Africa for a few weeks. They're heading down also.

7. We need to average 6 points a month for January/May, February, March, and April to have a shout of staying up. That'd be 39 points -- not enough to keep teams up in some years, but maybe enough for us.

8. The free-fall team -- Newcastle -- is high enough above the drop zone to be safe for the year. But for those 3 or 4 matches a year when Michael Owen is fully fit, they really play sucky football.

9. We need to beat Birmingham, Derby, Sunderland, for certain, as well as slamming a couple of top-10 sides. And maybe two wins on the road.

10. Here's your bottom 6: Derby [duh], Bolton, Birmingham, Fulham, Sunderland, Middlesboro. How they line up eventually is anyone's guess. The only cert is Derby going down. Unless we reassemble our feces, they won't be the only side wearing black and white to drop down.

COYW!

This the Premiership or the Circus?

2008-01-14T17:15:00.000-05:00

So many stories, so many sideshows.

I've always been told Footy contains drama, but I didn't figure the General Hospital sort. Big Sam leaving Newkie Brown, Jewell signing Savage AND Ghaly, HicksGillete Inc. flirting with Klinsmann, DIC possibly buying out HicksGillete.

And we here thought eloping with Jessica Simpson to Cabo was bad.

Newcastle may be relegated after Ashley's ill-timed firing. As I wrote here a few weeks ago, what would firing Big Sam prove? The size of your penis? They weren’t going anywhere upwards, but more importantly they weren’t going anywhere downwards. Like West Ham, they were going to be stuck in mediocrity.

But no, Ashley had to meddle with the (crappy) brew and now he’s totally skunked it. As seen in that pathetic second half, which now makes Roma’s performance there last spring look spirited, the team has given up. A motley crew of has-beens, and never weres – not to mention felons – the only path for Toon Nation is “down, down, down, in a burning ring of fire.” The dysfunction is great news for everyone else in the relegation hunt.

In other relegation news, Paul Jewell figured he’ll either injure every other team in order to survive, or provide the tabloids with plenty of fodder as his team drops back down to the Championship. Everyone thought Bowyer and Dyer’s reunion would be volatile. But Savage and Ghaly together?!? My god! One’s a thug, another is a nutcase who throws temper tantrums and insults his new club. I know I’ll be watching every Derby match from now on.

I wont comment on the Liverpool silliness, as numerous other blogs have. I will however briefly voice my disgust at MLS for rejecting Preston North End’s bid for Zack Morris – er, I mean Taylor Twellman. MLS yet again takes itself way too seriously, and proves (again) that it is also a bad business partner. In order for your league to grow in stature, you gotta let your birdies out of the coup and fly on their own.

Return from the Holidaze

2008-01-11T23:16:00.000-05:00

Apologies for the lack of updates, but the logic board in my trusty old Powerbook G4 finally went. So instead I am running off an old G3 that (somehow) still works until I either repair the old fossil, or shell out $1300-plus on a new model.

Although its currently fifty degrees and thunderstorming here in Massachusetts, it is in fact winter – particularly mid-January. And that means that most (important) leagues -- sans Bundesliga -- return from their holiday furlough. As a dilettante toward these other leagues, here’s some things I would like to see.

Ligue 1: Can anyone other than Lyon win this, please? No other club has been able to in six years, and the previous one besides got relegated last season…so we’re all counting on you Caen.

La Liga: It’s back already? Who knew? Hopefully Real Madrid lay an egg ala last season’s Barca, otherwise the only (superficial) form of entertainment is watching Valencia free fall. And if you needed another reason to enjoy footy, Sevilla have a +12 goal differential -- with eight losses.

BWINLIGA: Seeing as how Porto essentially has this in the bag, I hope Freddy Adu fully emerges at Benfica. The national squad could use his attacking prowess.

Eredivisie: Perhaps Feyenoord can win their first title in nine seasons. Or Twente or Gronigen their first ever. Anybody but PSV and Ajax? Lets hope so. And what the hell happened to AZ?

Serie A: Results are already on Wikipedia.

Whenever I decide what to do about my computer, expect some new posts about the similarities in parity between the NFL and Coca Cola Championship, as with an in depth analysis of the various managerial celebrations – particularly the fist-pump. Until then expect sporadic updates, and enjoy this video in light of all the election hoopla. And this classic.

Out with the old, in with new (year)

2008-01-02T21:36:00.000-05:00

After an exciting festive period, I guess its only natural that epoch’s finale was rather forgettable. Only Wigan’s draw with Liverpool was mildly surprising, and Tottenham’s gift to Aston Villa was actually entertaining. One could notice the exhaustion of the players, and it showed in the score lines: no team scoring more than three goals, seven teams not scoring any.

Nevertheless, with 2007 over and 2008 to look – dare I say forward? – to, here are some events that I hereby predict will occur (or come rather close):

Berbatov is Bulgarian, and Anelka is French, for ‘Nothing Less than 15-million”.
Perhaps this prediction is a bit obvious, but there’s no way either will be in their respected squads come February. Putting aside the tactless and untimely admission by Berb’s agent, Berbatov simply isn’t enjoying playing footy for Spurs. And one needs to look no further than his body language whenever one of his teammates can’t handle a pass of his, or screws up another way – he openly sulks on the field. He is scoring a multitude of goals and is one of the BPL’s best strikers, but he behavior has to be killing the chemistry on the pitch. Ramos is telling the papers he wants him, but he is surely surreptitiously shopping around for a replacement. And Anelka, well that’s obvious. Someone of his class doesn’t deserve Megson’s dour Wanderers.

Speaking of Bolton...
The (impending) loss of Anelka may seem disastrous but their home record will see them to safety. Of their 11 games at the Reebok they’ve only lost three times at home, conceding just nine goals. Victories over Manchester United and those around them (e.g. Brum, Reading, Derby, Wigan) have proven quite beneficial. They do need to slowly improve their horrible Away form by April, as they play three matches that month as visitors.

The only ones preventing Manchester United from winning the title is…Manchester United.
The same also applies for Arsenal, but ManYoo are just a better side and should surpass the Gooners anytime now. Collapses a la Upton Park probably wont happen again, but even draws equal dropped points that always prove costly. Just recall Chelsea’s run of average form against Newcastle and Bolton at the end of last season.

Big Sam isn’t going anywhere.
His reign has been very disappointing, but who are they viably going to replace him with? And do opponents actually think that Newcastle will compete for any silverware or European tournaments if some messiah takes over anyway? Unless one of the big four don’t win either the Carling or FA Cup(s), Everton, Villa, or ManCity/ Liverpool have the UEFA Cup spots all wrapped up. And Pompey will probably attempt the Intertoto, so just enjoy not being relegation fodder and see how the rest of the season pans out. If you’re lower than you are now, then go look for a replacement.

Liverpool need to win the Champions League, because they ain’t qualifying for it otherwise.
In addition to obtaining Castillo, Sven is going to spend big on key acquisitions that should see ManCity into the Champions League Qualifiers. ManCity do need to improve their away form, but the only big road test is the Manchester Derby and a visit to Anfield on May 3 (which is going to be a HUGE match). Liverpool displayed lack of killer instinct, and tactical cohesion, against Wigan. And although Rafa may ask for more players, nothing is going to really change. The Reds have to travel to Chelsea, Arsenal, and Manchester United, and Rafa’s poor record against those is quite foreboding.

The Wire will conclude as the #1 TV show. Ever.
Totally unfooty-related, but with its fifth (and final) season airing this coming Sunday, January 6th, expect the kitchen sink. Its not just a simple narrative or television program, but it transcends its digital images to become a historical social document and its going to have a big impact in the coming decades. The realness portrayed through the images and characters is unparallel. Even shows of its guild – Law & Order and CSI – are silly fluff in comparison. Will Marlo’s reign of terror finally conclude? Will McNulty go off the deep end (again)? Will Carcetti actually change the city? Is the focus on the media going to add another level to the story, or just be Simon’s tangential polemic against his former occupation? I can’t wait to see!

A Memo to Hodgson

2007-12-31T17:08:00.000-05:00

Note: This is from HatterDon, a honcho over at FulhamUSA.com.

Hi Roy! Take my advice. I hardly ever use it myself.

You've got a bunch of players in the house and 11 positions on the pitch and just because you've done well at club and country level for more than 20 years doesn't stop me from telling you what to do. And you should listen, because I'm one of the few people who is actually older than you. So here we go:

1. Goalkeeper: Today you got to see the yin and yang of Antti Niemi in person. On the one hand his reaction save off Queudrue saved a point for us. It was a save that Paul Robinson could only pull off in his dreams. On the other hand, he continued to put unneeded pressure on his back four because he doesn't come off his line enough, and he sapped the flow of energy we had built up by taking forever to get the ball upfield. So, if you haven't landed a potential number one goalie by the time Kasey Keller gets back to full fitness, pass along the gloves to the bald guy from the Pacific Northwest and keep Niemi on the sub's bench. Oh, and get rid of Warner as soon as you possibly can.

2. Defense: Please keep playing Omozusi. Giving him a shot was practically the only team selection decision Sanchez made that I thought was spot on. Try Baird at centre back. Oh, and please don't sell Volzy. I spent a buttload of quid buying a jersey with his name on the back.

3. Midfield: NEVER let Murphy start again. He's an old Steve Davis. Of the two, I'd rather have the Irishman. And, I know he's thin, but try not to lose sight of Alexey Smertin. Evidently Sanchez couldn't see him through those Kray Brothers glasses of his and kept using Murphy or Seol in his stead. And that reminds me, lose the Korean as well. His game has gone missing so long it belongs on a milk carton. Keep playing Simon Davies and don't give up on Hammeur Bouazza. Oh, and think about Clint Dempsey playing slightly behind the front two. And most of all, send Jimmy the Bull out onto the pitch and just tell him to have fun.

4. Striker: It would be nice if we have one. Dempsey's done a great job there, but he'd be the first to drawl that he's not a target man. You've got Brian McBride there, but you need a pacy hungry greedy poacher to play off him. I'm not convinced that Healy isn't that guy, but I am convinced that we should never see Kuqi in an FFC shirt again. I mean, I like the guy, but he couldn't get a game with Palace and they're in the CCC. You should know that, of course, since you were his coach in the Finnish squad. Unless you've got a January transfer in the bag early on, think about giving Healy and Kamara 90 minutes each as the strike pair for two or three matches, just to see what happens.

5. Youth/reserves: Let's start emphasizing that. Inter certainly did that when you were there. We've got some great kids as well as some promise on the fringes of the first team squad and in the reserves. Let's see them from time to time and build something lasting from the ground up.

6. And lets play football. What you saw today was the first time in forever that we've strung together a sequence of passes. No kidding. I've seen three or four matches this season where we've never had more than three passes before losing possession -- in the entire game. We've got skill players -- Davies, Dempsey, Bullard, uh, ...., -- some other guys. Let's attack and play interesting passing ball. Who knows, it might even wake up some of the fans in the Cottage.

Thanks for listening and good luck, Roy. We're all pulling for you.

The worst of 2007, in 2007-08

2007-12-31T13:47:00.000-05:00

Norman Hubbard just wrote a column detailing, in his opinion, the worst players of the season so far. Yet some of those name’s are somewhat “N/A” as they haven’t played enough to display their bust-ness (read: David Nugent).

So below is my ‘Worst XI’ of the first half. To qualify, you need to start in at least half of your clubs matches, and/or appear in two-thirds of the total. My math may be a bit fuzzy, but without much ado here’s the team that could make a run in the MLS Cup:

Goalkeeper: Craig Gordon, Sunderland. Okay, this may be a bit unfair as Sunderland’s defense is terrible and its his first stint in the Premier League. But for 9-million pounds, being a part of the second-highest goals conceded (a whopping 39) is becoming of a flop.

Right Back: Chris Baird, Fulham. Having the characteristics more of a hobbit than a top-flight defender, Baird’s 3-million pound transfer fee from SoHo was suspect. And if anyone watched the ManCity and Spurs matches at the Cottage, it was easy to see why each of Fulham’s opponents ran their offenses through him, and scored 3 goals respectively.

Centre Back(s): The Derby Defenders. This one is rather self-explanatory.

Left Back: Jose Enrique, Newcastle. I gotta agree with Hubbard on this one, so I wont steal anymore from him.

Right Midfield: SK Hyeon, Fulham. Six Starts, eight substitutions and only 1 assist, never passes, hell, never looks up while dribbling. It may not be saying a lot, but Sanchez’s worst signing. Hodgson should do the club a favor and release him in January.

Central Mid(s): Joey Barton, Newcastle and Mohammed Sissoko, Liverpool. One is currently (as far as I know) in a Liverpool jail, the other is currently on the ‘Missing Person’s” List at Liverpool’s police station. Barton’s only goal was a penalty kick in a dour match against Fulham, Sissoko’s only goal was in the first week of the season. Come February expect Barton to play for Liverpool Prison FC; and Momo, well, if anyone knows of his whereabouts please call the proper police hotline.

Left Midfield: I really wanted to copy Hubbard (again) and give it to MG Pedersen, but I think Luis Boa Morte, West Ham takes the cake. No goals, no appearances since early December, and another injury plagued season.

Striker(s): Darren Bent, Tottenham and Jeremie Aliadiere, Boro. Both were summer signings, both have been disappointments. Aliadiere has a mere one goal on a team that only outscores Derby. Bent cost almost 17-million pounds, so anything other than leading the Premier League in goals is disappointing. Yet Bent is fourth on the depth chart. Two of his five goals came in the UEFA Cup, and another two came in routs against Derby and Wigan – yikes.

If you know of any I missed, feel free to add!

The Managerial Key-Party Continues

2007-12-28T13:42:00.000-05:00

One festive day ending, another on the horizon, and lots of footy throughout it all.

With Roy Hodgson’s appointment at the Cottage, everyone is looking at Big Sam as the next one to go.

But if anyone bothered to watch ManYoo’s JV team demolish Sunderland, you would notice Roy Keane’s negative body language. Of course one cannot be pleased with a 4-0 defeat by his prior employer. But Keane looked like he didn’t even want to be there. And who can blame him? He’s been a winner everywhere he’s played, and even last year he won handily when he took over the Black Cats’s reigns.

Yet with the exception of defeating Derby, the squad hasn’t won since September. And that was against Reading, who are poor on the road. Of all the teams that still have hope to stay up (i.e. not Derby), Sunderland have conceded a league leading 38 goals, and are tied with Boro in least amount of goals scored.

If this was any other manager, they would’ve gotten sacked months ago. Yet Keane still has his job. And that’s for two reasons: intimidation and low expectations. Who in the press is going to attack Keane-O and not immediately fear for themselves and their family? I sure as hell would go into Witness Protection if I was the sports editor at the Sunderland Echo or Times. And although his position as manager was a good story, and pundits picked Sunderland to finish mid-table, did anyone actually expect them to be anything other than relegation fodder? With the exception of Kenwyne Jones, their summer acquisitions are suspect or flops.

If things remain the same, I expect Keane to step down sometime in the spring. People like him remain ‘winners’ for a reason. You gotta commend him for what he did last season, and although the jury is till out until the end of the transfer window, don't expect him to be around in May.

Premiership Boxing Day Preview

2007-12-24T12:17:00.000-05:00

So Facebook has this nifty little application that lets you pick the winner of each Premiership match. Every game as a -0.5 spread, so if you pick the underdog it means that they’ll at least tie or win (thus beating the spread). And because I’d rather not post on Christmas, here’s my Round 19/Boxing Day Preview:

(n.b. this totally rips off Bill Simmons, so I'll probably change the format next week. Home team in caps)

Aston Villa (-0.5) over CHELSEA
The keeper situation for the Blues could be troubling, even though they’re at home. Hilario looked really shaky against Blackburn, and Aston Villa’s attack is much more potent. Even with Drogba and Terry still out, it’ll probably come down to a Zat Knight gaff to determine the outcome.

Fulham (-0.5) over TOTTENHAM
This prediction wholly depends on whether the rumors of Jol going to Fulham are true or not. Although reports have been varied, Al-Fayed may give him a big enough salary that he’ll join. And if so, I expect Jol to be double flipping off the entirety of White Hart Lane for the entire match, and at its conclusion he’ll probably fire a rocket at Daniel Levy’s booth ala the Italian Ultras. If he isn’t hired, then Ramos’s squad should win handily.

WEST HAM over Reading (-0.5)
Reading only has two points on the road, and one of those points came on opening day. So three points for Elijah Wood!

BIRMINGHAM over Boro (-0.5)
McLeish should have the Blues rebound from last week’s embarrassing collapse at the Reebok. And Boro’s run of good fortune has been running on borrowed time for too long.

Liverpool over DERBY (-0.5)
The Reds will probably will handily, further solidifying Rafa’s grand illusion.

...But they could also lay an egg and only come away with a point...

Bah, I hate betting on Liverpool so lets move on.

EVERTON over Bolton (-0.5)
Bolton are arguably more pathetic on the road than Reading, only claiming points against Derby and West Ham. And Everton are probably in the best form outside of United and Arsenal. Arteta’s return should provide a boost.

PORTSMOUTH (-0.5) over Arsenal
Pompey haven’t won at home since that 7-goal fiesta against Reading in September. But this will be Arsenal’s eighth game this month and eleventh since the last international break. Add into the mix Fratton Park’s lack of a friendly confines and it’s a recipe for dropped points.

Manchester United over SUNDERLAND (-0.5)
As much as I enjoy the Keane-o dynamic to this match, United are just unstoppable. Can we just fast-forward to May and (yet again) give them the trophy already?

Newcastle over WIGAN (-0.5)
Honestly, who even cares about this one? There aren’t any Wigan fans, and I’m sure many Geordies are gunning for dropped points so Big Sam can get the axe. The only thing I’ll be looking for is to see whether or not Alex Smith still has the skunk-inspired hairstyle. And then proceeding to vomit, again.

MANCHESTER CITY over Blackburn (-0.5)
Sven’s men are unstoppable at home. Blackburn aren’t playing well. What else needs to be discussed?

On that note, have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays all!

pre-christmas premiership wrap

2007-12-23T21:49:00.000-05:00

Another weekend in the Premiership, another string of predictable results and events. Arsenal winning it late again, the relegation dogfight still jam-packed, and Chelsea putting me to sleep. Here’s a quick rundown of what I noticed this past weekend:

Although this applies to all candidates, if Fulham doesn’t want to get relegated they need to win matches against clubs lower than them. Last season they collected 9 points against those sent down to the Championship, and barely survived. So far this season they have a meager 4 points – out of four matches. Whoever feels like managing this squad needs to not only improve their overall form but also figure out the (somehow) tricky task of defeating teams worse than you, particularly at home.

Maybe Viduka forgot to give Sam Allardyce an actual gift for Christmas, but his late goal against Derby was more than Big Sam could've ask for. Believe it or not, he’s still on the hot seat and if they lost to Derby he probably would have been shown the door. A month ago everyone had him sacked, but Big Sam has been assisted by getting points during a lull in their schedule - albeit unconvincingly. Although they’re away to Wigan on Boxing Day, the next few weeks will really test Allardyce’s staying power.

Speaking of canning, Rafa Benitez needs to go. Yes Liverpool just dismantled Pompey, but that is part of the problem: he's the son you ask to mow the lawn, but instead washes the car and hangs up the laundry. You’re not entirely angry at him, but he didn’t do what you told him to. When the season began, one could sense there was a strong push amongst ‘Pool fans to win the Premiership. They may not have said it outright, but its almost 20 years since the club has lifted that trophy and the fans were yearning to. In part because of the rotation system, the title dream was all but over by mid-October. Getting a combined 6 points against Tottenham, Pompey, Wigan, and Birmingham is no way to keep up with Arsenal and Manchester United. Now, they’re 10 points off the pace and even with a game in hand, Rafa cannot defeat the other riders of the Premiership’s four horsemen. And what makes his position all the more frustrating is the squad’s ability to effortlessly romp through The Champions League, and handily defeat the also-rans (excluding Reading, when he practically gave up). He was asked to do one thing, but seems intent on doing another.

Blackburn are in a tailspin. They haven’t won a match since before Halloween, and probably wont until the eve of New Year’s Eve. Chelsea not only defeated them at home, but completely frustrated them without even seeming to try or care. Come January they need another striker to compliment Santa Cruz, who is doing everything by himself not because he is selfish, but because McCarthy, Pedersen, et al are not performing well this season. It may sound crazy, but I have a odd conviction that Bentley made be bought by another club in January for a lot of money.

I didn’t get the color announcers name of the Spurs/Gooners match – but wow was he a homer. I think he said “we” in regards to Tottenham at least a half-dozen times, and I turned on the match right before Keane missed the penalty.

A whopping 6 clubs have zero road wins this season, and 5 of those only have two points. Even Reading, who sit somewhat comfortably at 12th on 21 points, are one of those. Although pundits seem to put Megson’s Bolton squad technically out of the relegation fight, they need to improve their away form. Fulham haven't won away from the Cottage since September of 2006, so there's no reason to believe they ever will again. Sunderland's been suffering from bad luck via the referree's both away and at home. Even with three wins at the JJB, Wigan arguably always play away as they dont have any fans. And Derby are just terrible. Oddly enough Birmingham are 1 point away from the drop and Boro 3, yet both have two away victories.

And finally if ever there was a gap between the top-flight and the Championship, newly promoted Bristol City's recent victory places them just one point away from automatic qualification into the Premiership, and three points from leading the Championship. I really don’t know whether to commend the Robins or show my dismay at the CCC’s utter mediocrity. I'll let you decide.